[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 21:02:54 +0100
Confers will survey the situation as soon as he arrives. How many skeletons
moving? How much damage being inflicted?
Cheers
Rog
> On 30 Sep 2014, at 18:12, Edward Marsden-Jones <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
>
> Arfa is just going to chill for a bit.
>
>
>
>
>> On 30 Sep 2014, at 21:00, Pete (Redacted sender
>> "tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> wrote:
>>
>> I'll take a roll on the plea table very shortly
>>
>> ...
>>
>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 8:53 AM
>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>
>> what's a plea, if it's not telling your god what you want? :-)
>>
>> text of plea, please! sadly there's no RQ plea table, though after this i
>> may make one.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 1:23 AM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>> <finger_in_air>
>> I've always disliked this, "telling your god what you want thing". In my
>> opinion, if you really *are* at The End, then you scream out one last plea
>> to your deity and take whatever help you're bloody well given.
>> </finger_in_air>
>> So, Splut will do just that, and if it fails then he'll get stuck into the
>> skallywags and go out heroically...
>>
>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:56:51 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> orlanth -- i *think*
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years since I
>>> went to temple...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking
>>> for
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> DI
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
>>> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
>>> arfa: pretend to be dead
>>> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>> splut: ?
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>>> from his gigantic anus.
>>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent of
>>> Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain some
>>> information in order to free him....
>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>>> *pooof*
>>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> well blow me!
>>>
>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>
>>> so lets see...
>>>
>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my maths is
>>> correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147 against
>>> what 5 of us?
>>>
>>> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>
>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12
>>> 'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left giggling in
>>> our shit stained armour - right?
>>>
>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>
>>> read the book aloud?
>>>
>>> burn the book?
>>>
>>> give them the book?
>>>
>>> ????
>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>
>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as they are
>>> buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the first and
>>> will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent rows
>>> marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i made
>>> your Bottle Out roll).
>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical march.
>>> decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the scallywags
>>> mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original estimate for
>>> skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can hear
>>> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3
>>> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump and
>>> Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic
>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> Not to die.
>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What can the
>>> lad see?
>>> - G
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> any orders from Splut this time?
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones
>>> <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>> r
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
>>> referring?
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>
>>> Cheers
>>> Rog
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender
>>> "tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me - the one
>>> about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>
>>>
>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>
>>>
>>> anything like that?
>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped for...
>>> except maybe the divine intervention
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as i think
>>> I may need to...
>>>
>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>
>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>
>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>>>
>>> surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>
>>> prepares divine intervention request...
>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags each
>>> parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the chaps are
>>> effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of sensible
>>> orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive the next
>>> melee round...
>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> *Silence*
>>>
>>> Cheers
>>> Rog
>>>
>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>> >
>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> came through here as a square :-)
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
>>> >> correctly.
>>> >>
>>> >> Cheers
>>> >> Rog
>>> >>
>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>
>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>> 💩
>>> >>>
>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones
>>> >>>> <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit, and
>>> >>>>> arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long
>>> >>>>> ago. after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly sever
>>> >>>>> the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised
>>> >>>>> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the
>>> >>>>> follow-through, and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the
>>> >>>>> heads simultaneously jump vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump
>>> >>>>> eye-height.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very moment of
>>> >>>>> contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton horde
>>> >>>>> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed
>>> >>>>> heads and the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of
>>> >>>>> their trajectory and their triumph respectively, said heroes are
>>> >>>>> mobbed by the first row of cadavers.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting, tearing
>>> >>>>> dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a second
>>> >>>>> after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing
>>> >>>>> with rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head for
>>> >>>>> Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
>>> >>>>> passage.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>
>>
>>
>>
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