[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 08:53:37 -0700
what's a plea, if it's not telling your god what you want? :-)
text of plea, please! sadly there's no RQ plea table, though after this i
may make one.
On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 1:23 AM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> <finger_in_air>
>
> I've always disliked this, "telling your god what you want thing". In my
> opinion, if you really *are* at The End, then you scream out one last plea
> to your deity and take whatever help you're bloody well given.
>
> </finger_in_air>
>
> So, Splut will do just that, and if it fails then he'll get stuck into the
> skallywags and go out heroically...
>
>
>
>
>
> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:56:51 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
>
> orlanth -- i *think*
>
> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years since I
>> went to temple...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>> wrote:
>>
>> ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking
>> for
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>
>>> DI
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
>>> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
>>> arfa: pretend to be dead
>>> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>> splut: ?
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>>>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>>>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>>>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>>>> from his gigantic anus.
>>>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent
>>>> of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain
>>>> some information in order to free him....
>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>>>> *pooof*
>>>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>>>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> well blow me!
>>>>>
>>>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>>>
>>>>> so lets see...
>>>>>
>>>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my
>>>>> maths is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147
>>>>> against what 5 of us?
>>>>>
>>>>> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>>>
>>>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level
>>>>> 12 'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left
>>>>> giggling in our shit stained armour - right?
>>>>>
>>>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>>>
>>>>> read the book aloud?
>>>>>
>>>>> burn the book?
>>>>>
>>>>> give them the book?
>>>>>
>>>>> ????
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *Sent:* Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>>>
>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>
>>>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as
>>>>> they are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the
>>>>> first and will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent
>>>>> rows marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i
>>>>> made your Bottle Out roll).
>>>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical
>>>>> march. decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the
>>>>> scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original
>>>>> estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can hear
>>>>> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3
>>>>> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump and
>>>>> Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic
>>>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Not to die.
>>>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What
>>>>> can the lad see?
>>>>> - G
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> any orders from Splut this time?
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones <
>>>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>>>> r
>>>>>
>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
>>>>> referring?
>>>>>
>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>>>
>>>>> Cheers
>>>>> Rog
>>>>>
>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender "
>>>>> tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me -
>>>>> the one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> anything like that?
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>
>>>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped
>>>>> for...
>>>>> except maybe the divine intervention
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as
>>>>> i think I may need to...
>>>>>
>>>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>>>
>>>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>>>
>>>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>>>>>
>>>>> surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>>>
>>>>> prepares divine intervention request...
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>
>>>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags
>>>>> each parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the
>>>>> chaps are effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of
>>>>> sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive
>>>>> the next melee round...
>>>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
>>>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
>>>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
>>>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> *Silence*
>>>>>
>>>>> Cheers
>>>>> Rog
>>>>>
>>>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> came through here as a square :-)
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
>>>>> correctly.
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Cheers
>>>>> >> Rog
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>> >>> 💩
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones <
>>>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit,
>>>>> and arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long
>>>>> ago. after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly
>>>>> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised
>>>>> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the
>>>>> follow-through,
>>>>> and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the heads simultaneously jump
>>>>> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump eye-height.
>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very
>>>>> moment of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton
>>>>> horde
>>>>> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed heads
>>>>> and
>>>>> the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of their trajectory
>>>>> and
>>>>> their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first row of
>>>>> cadavers.
>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting,
>>>>> tearing dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a second
>>>>> after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing with
>>>>> rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head
>>>>> for Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
>>>>> passage.
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
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