banned words: and, also, including, not excluding, in accompaniment with, etc :-) On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:13 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking > for > > > On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > >> DI >> >> >> >> >> >> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >> wrote: >> >> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have -- >> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally >> arfa: pretend to be dead >> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys >> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys >> splut: ? >> >> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >> >>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons. >>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a >>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically >>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire >>> from his gigantic anus. >>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the >>> equivalent of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you >>> to obtain some information in order to free him.... >>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here >>> *pooof* >>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together >>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here >>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you >>> >>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>> wrote: >>> >>>> well blow me! >>>> >>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about! >>>> >>>> so lets see... >>>> >>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my maths >>>> is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147 against >>>> what 5 of us? >>>> >>>> Odds sound reasonable to me... >>>> >>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12 >>>> 'fuck >>>> skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left giggling in our >>>> shit stained armour - right? >>>> >>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it? >>>> >>>> read the book aloud? >>>> >>>> burn the book? >>>> >>>> give them the book? >>>> >>>> ???? >>>> >>>> ------------------------------ >>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *Sent:* Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM >>>> >>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later >>>> >>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as >>>> they are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the >>>> first and will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent >>>> rows marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i >>>> made your Bottle Out roll). >>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical >>>> march. decent pace required to keep ahead of them. >>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the >>>> scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original >>>> estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so. >>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what >>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can hear >>>> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3 >>>> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are. >>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump >>>> and Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic >>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low. >>>> >>>> >>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> Not to die. >>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What can >>>> the lad see? >>>> - G >>>> >>>> >>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>> any orders from Splut this time? >>>> >>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray. >>>> >>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones < >>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa. >>>> r >>>> >>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we >>>> referring? >>>> >>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> Centred will return to the stupidity. >>>> >>>> Cheers >>>> Rog >>>> >>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender " >>>> tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me - >>>> the one about to chew on my nose maybe? >>>> >>>> >>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo... >>>> >>>> >>>> anything like that? >>>> >>>> ------------------------------ >>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM >>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later >>>> >>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped >>>> for... >>>> except maybe the divine intervention >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as i >>>> think I may need to... >>>> >>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off... >>>> >>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order... >>>> >>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine... >>>> >>>> surely now the referee will intervene? >>>> >>>> prepares divine intervention request... >>>> >>>> ------------------------------ >>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM >>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later >>>> >>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging. >>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags >>>> each parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the >>>> chaps are effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of >>>> sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive >>>> the next melee round... >>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags. >>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and >>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly. >>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> *Silence* >>>> >>>> Cheers >>>> Rog >>>> >>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> > >>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough. >>>> > >>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead? >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > >>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote: >>>> >> >>>> >> came through here as a square :-) >>>> >> >>>> >> >>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji >>>> correctly. >>>> >> >>>> >> Cheers >>>> >> Rog >>>> >> >>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>> >>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation? >>>> >>> >>>> >>> >>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>> ๐ฉ >>>> >>> >>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones < >>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs? >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit, >>>> and arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long >>>> ago. after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons. >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly >>>> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised >>>> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the follow-through, >>>> and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the heads simultaneously jump >>>> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump eye-height. >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very >>>> moment of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton horde >>>> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed heads and >>>> the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of their trajectory and >>>> their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first row of >>>> cadavers. >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting, >>>> tearing dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a second >>>> after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing with >>>> rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor. >>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head for >>>> Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the >>>> passage. >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >> > >