[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 07:04:22 +0100
DI in human speak: splut kneels down and starts praying.
Cheers
Rog
> On 30 Sep 2014, at 01:56, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> orlanth -- i *think*
>
>
>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>> <finger_in_air>
>>
>> Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years since I
>> went to temple...
>>
>> </finger_in_air>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking
>>> for
>>>
>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>> DI
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
>>>> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
>>>> arfa: pretend to be dead
>>>> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>> splut: ?
>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>>>>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>>>>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>>>>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>>>>> from his gigantic anus.
>>>>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent
>>>>> of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain
>>>>> some information in order to free him....
>>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>>>>> *pooof*
>>>>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>>>>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> well blow me!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> so lets see...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my maths
>>>>>> is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147
>>>>>> against what 5 of us?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12
>>>>>> 'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left giggling
>>>>>> in our shit stained armour - right?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> read the book aloud?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> burn the book?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> give them the book?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ????
>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as they
>>>>>> are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the
>>>>>> first and will have at it in the very short term. the third and
>>>>>> subsequent rows marched around the melee and and are approaching you
>>>>>> (this is when i made your Bottle Out roll).
>>>>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical march.
>>>>>> decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>>>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the
>>>>>> scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original
>>>>>> estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>>>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>>>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can
>>>>>> hear the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or
>>>>>> 3 abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>>>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump and
>>>>>> Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic
>>>>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> Not to die.
>>>>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What can
>>>>>> the lad see?
>>>>>> - G
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> any orders from Splut this time?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones
>>>>>> <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>>>>> r
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
>>>>>> referring?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>> Rog
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender
>>>>>> "tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me - the
>>>>>> one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> anything like that?
>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>>>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped
>>>>>> for...
>>>>>> except maybe the divine intervention
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as i
>>>>>> think I may need to...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> prepares divine intervention request...
>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>>>>> Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>>>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags
>>>>>> each parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the
>>>>>> chaps are effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of
>>>>>> sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive
>>>>>> the next melee round...
>>>>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
>>>>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
>>>>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
>>>>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> *Silence*
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>> Rog
>>>>>>
>>>>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> came through here as a square :-)
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
>>>>>> >> correctly.
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> Cheers
>>>>>> >> Rog
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >>> 💩
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones
>>>>>> >>>> <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>
>>>>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>>>>> >>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit, and
>>>>>> >>>>> arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them,
>>>>>> >>>>> long ago. after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly
>>>>>> >>>>> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers
>>>>>> >>>>> advised them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch
>>>>>> >>>>> the follow-through, and this turns out to be most satisfying, as
>>>>>> >>>>> the heads simultaneously jump vertically to almost exactly Arfa
>>>>>> >>>>> and Chump eye-height.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very moment
>>>>>> >>>>> of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton
>>>>>> >>>>> horde springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the
>>>>>> >>>>> severed heads and the heroes begin the downward path from the
>>>>>> >>>>> zeniths of their trajectory and their triumph respectively, said
>>>>>> >>>>> heroes are mobbed by the first row of cadavers.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting,
>>>>>> >>>>> tearing dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only
>>>>>> >>>>> a second after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits,
>>>>>> >>>>> flailing with rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head for
>>>>>> >>>>> Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up
>>>>>> >>>>> the passage.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>
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