[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700
ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking
for
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> DI
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>
> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
>
> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
> arfa: pretend to be dead
> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
> splut: ?
>
> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>> from his gigantic anus.
>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent
>> of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain
>> some information in order to free him....
>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>> *pooof*
>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> well blow me!
>>>
>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>
>>> so lets see...
>>>
>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my maths
>>> is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147 against
>>> what 5 of us?
>>>
>>> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>
>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12 'fuck
>>> skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left giggling in our
>>> shit stained armour - right?
>>>
>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>
>>> read the book aloud?
>>>
>>> burn the book?
>>>
>>> give them the book?
>>>
>>> ????
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *Sent:* Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>
>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as
>>> they are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the
>>> first and will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent
>>> rows marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i
>>> made your Bottle Out roll).
>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical march.
>>> decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the
>>> scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original
>>> estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can hear
>>> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3
>>> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump and
>>> Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic
>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Not to die.
>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What can
>>> the lad see?
>>> - G
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> any orders from Splut this time?
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones <
>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>> r
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
>>> referring?
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>
>>> Cheers
>>> Rog
>>>
>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender "
>>> tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me -
>>> the one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>
>>>
>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>
>>>
>>> anything like that?
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped
>>> for...
>>> except maybe the divine intervention
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as i
>>> think I may need to...
>>>
>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>
>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>
>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>>>
>>> surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>
>>> prepares divine intervention request...
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>
>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags
>>> each parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the
>>> chaps are effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of
>>> sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive
>>> the next melee round...
>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>> *Silence*
>>>
>>> Cheers
>>> Rog
>>>
>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>> >
>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> came through here as a square :-)
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
>>> correctly.
>>> >>
>>> >> Cheers
>>> >> Rog
>>> >>
>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>
>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>> >>> 💩
>>> >>>
>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones <
>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit, and
>>> arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long ago.
>>> after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly
>>> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised
>>> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the follow-through,
>>> and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the heads simultaneously jump
>>> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump eye-height.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very moment
>>> of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton horde
>>> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed heads and
>>> the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of their trajectory and
>>> their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first row of
>>> cadavers.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting,
>>> tearing dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a second
>>> after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing with
>>> rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head for
>>> Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
>>> passage.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>
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