[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:39:19 -0700
yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
from his gigantic anus.
sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent of
Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain some
information in order to free him....
Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
*pooof*
Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> well blow me!
>
> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>
> so lets see...
>
> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my maths is
> correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147 against
> what 5 of us?
>
> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>
> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12 'fuck
> skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left giggling in our
> shit stained armour - right?
>
> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>
> read the book aloud?
>
> burn the book?
>
> give them the book?
>
> ????
>
> ------------------------------
> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> *Sent:* Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>
> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>
> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as they
> are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the first
> and will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent rows
> marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i made
> your Bottle Out roll).
>
> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical march.
> decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>
> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the scallywags
> mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original estimate for
> skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>
> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can hear
> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3
> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>
> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump and
> Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and magic
> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Not to die.
> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What can
> the lad see?
> - G
>
>
> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
>
> any orders from Splut this time?
>
> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>
> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones <
> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>
>
>
> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
> r
>
> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
> referring?
>
> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>
> Cheers
> Rog
>
> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender "
> tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> wrote:
>
> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me - the
> one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>
>
> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>
>
> anything like that?
>
> ------------------------------
> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>
> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped
> for...
> except maybe the divine intervention
>
>
>
> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as i
> think I may need to...
>
> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>
> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>
> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>
> surely now the referee will intervene?
>
> prepares divine intervention request...
>
> ------------------------------
> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>
> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags each
> parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the chaps are
> effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of sensible
> orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive the next
> melee round...
> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>
>
>
> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> *Silence*
>
> Cheers
> Rog
>
> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >
> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
> >
> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
> >
> >
> >
> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
> >>
> >> came through here as a square :-)
> >>
> >>
> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
> correctly.
> >>
> >> Cheers
> >> Rog
> >>
> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >>> 💩
> >>>
> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones <
> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
> >>>>
> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit, and
> arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long ago.
> after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly
> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised
> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the follow-through,
> and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the heads simultaneously jump
> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump eye-height.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very moment
> of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton horde
> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed heads and
> the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of their trajectory and
> their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first row of
> cadavers.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting, tearing
> dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a second after
> the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing with rusty
> weapons plucked from the pit floor.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head for
> Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
> passage.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
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