[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 21:23:27 +1300
I've always disliked this, "telling your god what you want thing". In my
opinion, if you really *are* at The End, then you scream out one last plea
to your deity and take whatever help you're bloody well given.
So, Splut
will do just that, and if it fails then he'll get stuck into the skallywags
and go out heroically...
On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:56:51 -0700, Jason
Proctor wrote: orlanth -- i *think*
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM,
wrote:
Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years
since I went to temple...
On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason
Proctor wrote: ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of
what you're asking for
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, wrote:
DI
On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor wrote: ok for round 2
of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have -- chump: disrupt face-chewing
skally arfa: pretend to be dead cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront
skallys ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys splut: ?
On
Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
yes, i think the bad
guys need to source more skeletons. if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until
your character had suffered a catastrophic wound, and then his character
Bob Lawrence would magically appear and save you, vaporising the monsters
in a blast of magical fire from his gigantic anus. sadly however, Bob is
not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent of Bob Lawrence is
currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to obtain some information in
order to free him.... Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here *pooof*
Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together Chump: dear Orlanth, please
bring Bob Lawrence here Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime
for oiks like you
On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete wrote:
well blow me!
last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em
stomping about!
so lets see...
150 approx, minus the two that we
beheaded leave around 148 is my maths is correct... minus the one I should
have disrupted - so that's 147 against what 5 of us?
Odds sound
reasonable to me...
No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who
casts a level 12 'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are
left giggling in our shit stained armour - right?
so it's come down to a
divine intervention has it?
read the book aloud?
burn the book?
give
them the book?
????
-------------------------
FROM: Jason Proctor
TO: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [8]"
SENT: Monday, September 29, 2014
1:35 PM
SUBJECT: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
from
the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as they are
buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds the first and
will have at it in the very short term. the third and subsequent rows
marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i made
your Bottle Out roll). they're not running as such, but they are doing a
fast mechanical march. decent pace required to keep ahead of them. the
light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the scallywags
mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original estimate for
skallys in the cave was 150 or so. (i assume) you dashed back to the
scorpion man room to tell C border-left: 1px #ccc solid; padding-left:
1ex;"> Not to die. Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's
perspective? What can the lad see? - G On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56
-0700, Jason Proctor wrote: any orders from Splut this time?
On Mon,
Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales wrote:
Ester, with a sense of dread,
also returns to the fray.
On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward
Marsden-Jones wrote:
I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a
bit.
On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan wrote:
Conferred indeed,
thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa. r
On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason
Proctor wrote:
but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the
many, are we referring?
On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan
wrote:
Centred will return to the stupidity.
Cheers Rog
On 29 Sep
2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender "tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx [17]"
for DMARC) wrote:
disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the
most danger to me - the one about to chew on my nose maybe?
pop...
shatter ... woo hoo...
anything like that?
-------------------------
FROM: Jason Proctor
TO: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [20]"
SENT: Sunday,
September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
SUBJECT: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds
later
hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd
hoped for... except maybe the divine intervention
On Sun, Sep 28, 2014
at 5:00 PM, Pete wrote:
it is at all possible for me to change may
armour at this point? as i think I may need to...
Shame the smell will
not scare them off...
some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
if
I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
surely
now the referee will intervene?
prepares divine intervention request...
-------------------------
FROM: Jason Proctor
TO:
"satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [24]"
SENT: Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37
PM
SUBJECT: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
the situation
for our heroes is... challenging. currently Arfa and Chump are flat on
their backs with four skallywags each parked on them, immobilising various
parts of their anatomy*. the chaps are effectively incapacitated at the
moment, but in the event of sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice
rolls, they might survive the next melee round... ...a chief component of
which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags. meanwhile, Splut arrives in
the scorpion man room to inform Ester and Cynfred that the Army of Darkness
is approaching rapidly. *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan wrote:
*Silence*
Cheers
Rog
> On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker wrote:
>
> Square
on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>
> So, is everyone else
dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>
>
>
>> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM,
Jason Proctor wrote:
>>
>> came through here as a square :-)
>>
>>
>>
On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan wrote:
>> I think it was the
first time I've ever managed to use an emoji correctly.
>>
>> Cheers
>>
Rog
>>
>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>
>>> was
that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>>
>>>
>>> On Sat, Sep 27,
2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan wrote:
>>> 💩
>>>
>>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at
04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones wrote:
>>>>
>>>> So is it too tight for
scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>>>
>>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at
23:48, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their
positions on the edge of the pit, and arrange their stances as their scythe
teachers once told them, long ago. after a nod to each other, they raise
their weapons.
>>>>>
>>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously
downward and cleanly sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons.
the teachers advised them to keep their eye on the target, rather than
watch the follow-through, and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the
heads simultaneously jump vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump
eye-height.
>>>>>
>>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as
at the very moment of contact between the scythes and their targets, the
skeleton horde springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the
severed heads and the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of
their trajectory and their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by
the first row of cadavers.
>>>>>
>>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by
a sea of grabbing, biting, tearing dead humanity. they try to drag
themselves away, but only a second after the first wave, the second line of
skeletons hits, flailing with rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>>>>
>>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head
for Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
passage.
>
>
>
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