[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 09:12:17 -0700
where is the book, Chump? in your cavernous adventurer's pack (aka bag of
holding) or on the floor, temporarily dropped for better scythe stance and
vertebrae targeting?
On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 8:53 AM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> what's a plea, if it's not telling your god what you want? :-)
>
> text of plea, please! sadly there's no RQ plea table, though after this i
> may make one.
>
>
>
> On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 1:23 AM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>> <finger_in_air>
>>
>> I've always disliked this, "telling your god what you want thing". In my
>> opinion, if you really *are* at The End, then you scream out one last plea
>> to your deity and take whatever help you're bloody well given.
>>
>> </finger_in_air>
>>
>> So, Splut will do just that, and if it fails then he'll get stuck into
>> the skallywags and go out heroically...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:56:51 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>> wrote:
>>
>> orlanth -- i *think*
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years since
>>> I went to temple...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're
>>> asking for
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>>> DI
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
>>>> chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
>>>> arfa: pretend to be dead
>>>> cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>> ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>> splut: ?
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>>>>> if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>>>>> catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>>>>> appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>>>>> from his gigantic anus.
>>>>> sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the
>>>>> equivalent of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you
>>>>> to obtain some information in order to free him....
>>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>>>>> *pooof*
>>>>> Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>>>>> Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>>>>> Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> well blow me!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> so lets see...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my
>>>>>> maths is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's 147
>>>>>> against what 5 of us?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level
>>>>>> 12 'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left
>>>>>> giggling in our shit stained armour - right?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> read the book aloud?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> burn the book?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> give them the book?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ????
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *Sent:* Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as
>>>>>> they are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit surrounds
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> first and will have at it in the very short term. the third and
>>>>>> subsequent
>>>>>> rows marched around the melee and and are approaching you (this is when i
>>>>>> made your Bottle Out roll).
>>>>>> they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical
>>>>>> march. decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>>>>> the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the
>>>>>> scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the original
>>>>>> estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>>>>> (i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>>>>> happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can
>>>>>> hear
>>>>>> the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2 or 3
>>>>>> abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>>>>> how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump
>>>>>> and Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and
>>>>>> magic
>>>>>> potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is very low.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Not to die.
>>>>>> Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What
>>>>>> can the lad see?
>>>>>> - G
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> any orders from Splut this time?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones <
>>>>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>>>>> r
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many, are we
>>>>>> referring?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>> Rog
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender "
>>>>>> tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC) <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to me
>>>>>> - the one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> anything like that?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders" i'd hoped
>>>>>> for...
>>>>>> except maybe the divine intervention
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this point? as
>>>>>> i think I may need to...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all be fine...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> prepares divine intervention request...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>>> *From:* Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *To:* "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> *Sent:* Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>>>>> *Subject:* [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>
>>>>>> the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>>>>> currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four skallywags
>>>>>> each parked on them, immobilising various parts of their anatomy*. the
>>>>>> chaps are effectively incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of
>>>>>> sensible orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might survive
>>>>>> the next melee round...
>>>>>> ...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed skallywags.
>>>>>> meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to inform Ester and
>>>>>> Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is approaching rapidly.
>>>>>> *these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *Silence*
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>> Rog
>>>>>>
>>>>>> > On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> came through here as a square :-)
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> >> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use an emoji
>>>>>> correctly.
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >> Cheers
>>>>>> >> Rog
>>>>>> >>
>>>>>> >>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> >>> 💩
>>>>>> >>>
>>>>>> >>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones <
>>>>>> eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>
>>>>>> >>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking fisticuffs?
>>>>>> >>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge of the pit,
>>>>>> and arrange their stances as their scythe teachers once told them, long
>>>>>> ago. after a nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward and cleanly
>>>>>> sever the spinal cords of the two closest skeletons. the teachers advised
>>>>>> them to keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the
>>>>>> follow-through,
>>>>>> and this turns out to be most satisfying, as the heads simultaneously
>>>>>> jump
>>>>>> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump eye-height.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at the very
>>>>>> moment of contact between the scythes and their targets, the skeleton
>>>>>> horde
>>>>>> springs to life with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed heads
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> the heroes begin the downward path from the zeniths of their trajectory
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> their triumph respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first row of
>>>>>> cadavers.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of grabbing, biting,
>>>>>> tearing dead humanity. they try to drag themselves away, but only a
>>>>>> second
>>>>>> after the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits, flailing with
>>>>>> rusty weapons plucked from the pit floor.
>>>>>> >>>>>
>>>>>> >>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the melee and head
>>>>>> for Splut, who heroically makes his Bottle Out roll and flees back up the
>>>>>> passage.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
>
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