[satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
- From: "Pete" <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> (Redacted sender "tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC)
- To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 10:00:49 -0700
I'll take a roll on the plea table very shortly
...
>________________________________
> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 8:53 AM
>Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>
>
>
>what's a plea, if it's not telling your god what you want? :-)
>
>
>text of plea, please! sadly there's no RQ plea table, though after this i may
>make one.
>
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>On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 1:23 AM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
><finger_in_air>
>>I've always disliked this, "telling your god what you want thing". In my
>>opinion, if you really *are* at The End, then you scream out one last plea to
>>your deity and take whatever help you're bloody well given.
>></finger_in_air>
>>So, Splut will do just that, and if it fails then he'll get stuck into the
>>skallywags and go out heroically...
>>
>>
>>On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:56:51 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>orlanth -- i *think*
>>>
>>>
>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:55 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Who do I worship, again? It's been... err... about 15 Earth years since I
>>>>went to temple...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:13:07 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>ok for those of you DIing, i'll need the exact text of what you're asking
>>>>for
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 5:05 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>DI
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:41:20 -0700, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>ok for round 2 of "army of darkness 148, party 5" i have --
>>>>>>>chump: disrupt face-chewing skally
>>>>>>>arfa: pretend to be dead
>>>>>>>cynfred: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>>>>>ester: munch hero pill, head to confront skallys
>>>>>>>splut: ?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:39 PM, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>yes, i think the bad guys need to source more skeletons.
>>>>>>>>if Bob was refereeing, he'd wait until your character had suffered a
>>>>>>>>catastrophic wound, and then his character Bob Lawrence would magically
>>>>>>>>appear and save you, vaporising the monsters in a blast of magical fire
>>>>>>>>from his gigantic anus.
>>>>>>>>sadly however, Bob is not refereeing this adventure, and the equivalent
>>>>>>>>of Bob Lawrence is currently in a Crabtown jail waiting for you to
>>>>>>>>obtain some information in order to free him....
>>>>>>>>Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Humph here
>>>>>>>>*pooof*
>>>>>>>>Humph: thanks man, now we can all die together
>>>>>>>>Chump: dear Orlanth, please bring Bob Lawrence here
>>>>>>>>Orlanth: sorry dude, one intervention per lifetime for oiks like you
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 3:09 PM, Pete <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>well blow me!
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>last thing I expected was the whole bloody bunch of em stomping about!
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>so lets see...
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>150 approx, minus the two that we beheaded leave around 148 is my
>>>>>>>>>maths is correct... minus the one I should have disrupted - so that's
>>>>>>>>>147 against what 5 of us?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>Odds sound reasonable to me...
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>No wait - we forgot the arrival of Bobs character who casts a level 12
>>>>>>>>>'fuck skeletons' and destroys them as a whole and we are left
>>>>>>>>>giggling in our shit stained armour - right?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>so it's come down to a divine intervention has it?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>read the book aloud?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>burn the book?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>give them the book?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>????
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>________________________________
>>>>>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 1:35 PM
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>from the back of the cave, you can no longer see Chump and Arfa as
>>>>>>>>>>they are buried in skallywags. the second row out of the pit
>>>>>>>>>>surrounds the first and will have at it in the very short term. the
>>>>>>>>>>third and subsequent rows marched around the melee and and are
>>>>>>>>>>approaching you (this is when i made your Bottle Out roll).
>>>>>>>>>>they're not running as such, but they are doing a fast mechanical
>>>>>>>>>>march. decent pace required to keep ahead of them.
>>>>>>>>>>the light is dim so you can't really determine whether all the
>>>>>>>>>>scallywags mobilised or whether some couldn't be bothered. the
>>>>>>>>>>original estimate for skallys in the cave was 150 or so.
>>>>>>>>>>(i assume) you dashed back to the scorpion man room to tell C&E what
>>>>>>>>>>happened. they have decided to go back in there. as you talk, you can
>>>>>>>>>>hear the horde approaching in the tunnel. likely the skallys can be 2
>>>>>>>>>>or 3 abreast in the tunnel, depending on where in the tunnel they are.
>>>>>>>>>>how bad does it look? miracles aside, there's no way out for Chump
>>>>>>>>>>and Arfa. and with the rest of the party's numbers, skill levels and
>>>>>>>>>>magic potential, etc, expectation of victory against the horde is
>>>>>>>>>>very low.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 1:01 PM, <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Not to die.
>>>>>>>>>>>Just how incredibly bad does it look from Splut's perspective? What
>>>>>>>>>>>can the lad see?
>>>>>>>>>>>- G
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>On Mon, 29 Sep 2014 12:03:56 -0700, Jason Proctor
>>>>>>>>>>><jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>any orders from Splut this time?
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>On Mon, Sep 29, 2014 at 2:48 AM, Jane Sales <jane@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>Ester, with a sense of dread, also returns to the fray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>On 29 Sep 2014, at 10:28, Edward Marsden-Jones
>>>>>>>>>>>>><eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I think Arfa will just lie still and relax for a bit.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On 29 Sep 2014, at 12:18, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Conferred indeed, thanks iOS. The most stupidity: Arfa.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>r
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On 29 Sep 2014, at 07:39, Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but what about Cynfred? and to which stupidity, of the many,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>are we referring?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 11:23 PM, Roger Nolan <rog@xxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Centred will return to the stupidity.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Cheers
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Rog
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On 29 Sep 2014, at 04:03, Pete (Redacted sender
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"tadcastervalentino@xxxxxxxxx" for DMARC)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>disrupt the head of the guy who seems to be the most danger to
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>me - the one about to chew on my nose maybe?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>pop... shatter ... woo hoo...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>anything like that?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>________________________________
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 7:06 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hmmm these are not good examples of the "sensible orders"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i'd hoped for...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>except maybe the divine intervention
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM, Pete
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>it is at all possible for me to change may armour at this
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>point? as i think I may need to...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Shame the smell will not scare them off...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>some sort of anti-grapple roll is in order...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>if I could just reach the anti-skeleton bat spray we'd all
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>be fine...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>surely now the referee will intervene?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>prepares divine intervention request...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>________________________________
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> From: Jason Proctor <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>To: "satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><satanworship@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:37 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Subject: [satanworship] Re: 28 milliseconds later
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the situation for our heroes is... challenging.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>currently Arfa and Chump are flat on their backs with four
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>skallywags each parked on them, immobilising various parts
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>of their anatomy*. the chaps are effectively
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>incapacitated at the moment, but in the event of sensible
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>orders and seriously outstanding dice rolls, they might
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>survive the next melee round...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...a chief component of which is the arrival of 10 armed
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>skallywags.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>meanwhile, Splut arrives in the scorpion man room to
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>inform Ester and Cynfred that the Army of Darkness is
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>approaching rapidly.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*these skallys are wicked at Grapple rolls somehow
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>On Sun, Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM, Roger Nolan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*Silence*
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Cheers
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Rog
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On 28 Sep 2014, at 04:18, Gavin Walker
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <gavinw@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Square on my Mac, a turd on the PC. Accurately enough.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So, is everyone else dead then? Dead are they? Dead?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On 2014/09/28, at 2:36 PM, Jason Proctor wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> came through here as a square :-)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 2:33 PM, Roger Nolan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I think it was the first time I've ever managed to use
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> an emoji correctly.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Rog
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 18:05, Jason Proctor
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> was that an emoticon summing up the situation?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Sat, Sep 27, 2014 at 12:14 AM, Roger Nolan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <rog@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 💩
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On 27 Sep 2014, at 04:20, Eddie Marsden-Jones
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <eddiemarsdenjones@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So is it too tight for scythes now? Are we talking
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> fisticuffs?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> On 26 Sep 2014, at 23:48, Jason Proctor
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <jason@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Arfa and Chump take up their positions on the edge
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> of the pit, and arrange their stances as their
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> scythe teachers once told them, long ago. after a
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> nod to each other, they raise their weapons.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> almost as one, the scythes sweep viciously downward
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> and cleanly sever the spinal cords of the two
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> closest skeletons. the teachers advised them to
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> keep their eye on the target, rather than watch the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> follow-through, and this turns out to be most
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> satisfying, as the heads simultaneously jump
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> vertically to almost exactly Arfa and Chump
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> eye-height.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the thrill of the triumph is brief, however, as at
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the very moment of contact between the scythes and
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> their targets, the skeleton horde springs to life
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> with mechanical rapidity. by the time the severed
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> heads and the heroes begin the downward path from
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the zeniths of their trajectory and their triumph
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> respectively, said heroes are mobbed by the first
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> row of cadavers.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Arfa and Chump are bowled over by a sea of
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> grabbing, biting, tearing dead humanity. they try
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> to drag themselves away, but only a second after
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the first wave, the second line of skeletons hits,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> flailing with rusty weapons plucked from the pit
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> floor.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the third and subsequent waves flow around the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> melee and head for Splut, who heroically makes his
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Bottle Out roll and flees back up the passage.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>
>>
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