[bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People
- From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2006 05:06:30 -0700
Yes, if he'd asked, I would have told him, and under different
circumstances, might even have chosen to hold hands. It's not nearly as
effective, but on the other hand, we were only going a short distance.
Communication is at the center of it all. And I suppose I'm not surprised
that many people don't try to communicate; I don't think it's something
Americans are really good at.
Be that as it may, talk to me, folks, before you grab me, and we'll do just
fine. ;)
Like Donna, I'll happily educate, and tell you what would be helpful.
-----Original Message-----
From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth and
Burton
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 12:39 AM
To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People
Under different circumstances I do a variety of things. That is the
courtesous good part about asking. It gives the disabled person a chance to
do what works at the moment.
E.
At 02:27 AM 12/5/2006, you wrote:
>No, same subject, different aspect. I think at CSUN a couple of years
>ago I had to ask, or be told, how to guide Donna to the restaurant. I
>didn't know whether she should take my arm or I should take hers. She
>took charge and told me. I wouldn't think of taking a person's hand,
>though, just because I don't think it's very effective.
>
>Cindy
>
>--- Lora <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> > What you say is true. Regrettably, we live in a
> > dangerous world. If I'd
> > been more uneasy, I might have shoved him away, which could be
> > dangerous for him in the middle of an intersection.
> >
> > I also think you're right about more physical contact. A new
> > acquaintance, when offering to guide me in a restaurant (a courtesy
> > I will accept, because the restaurants I tend to go to seem to have
> > lots of cramped spaces and such), slipped my hand in his to guide.
> > I pulled my hand back and took his arm. I wouldn't have minded
> > flirting with him, but he's married, and so even holding hands seems
> > off limits to me. Maybe that's an entirely different subject,
> > though.
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth
> > and Burton
> > Sent: Monday, December 04, 2006 10:23 PM
> > To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People
> >
> > Reality is grabbing someone, particularly a woman without asking
> > first is a stressful and possibly dangerous experience for the
> > person being grabbed. I understand the need to help. I will stress
> > in the book what we all know and have been trying to stress and will
> > use humor to do it. The human being is equipped with a mouth and
> > the ability to use it.
> > Please let's learn the
> > following phrases. Repeat after me children:
> > "May I pet your dog."
> > "Do you need help."
> > alternatives to "Do you need help" include "Are you all right?"
> >
> > The implicit thing often thought is "I am worried about you. Do you
> > need help?" (can I stop worrying) and the other question is "I have
> > nobody to help and here is a person I can help." I do not like this
> > attitude much since I dislike being an object attracting folks who
> > feel so non-needed and attracting them for their needs not my help
> > By the way, you can tell that kind. Those are the ones who keep
> > insisting and hang on after you have said you do not need help.
> >
> > On a more ominous note, I think there are men who physically grab
> > blind women for the same reason they would like to grab or touch a
> > woman or any kind. You can tell this kind because he is the one who
> > tries to cop a feel of my tit while I am hholding his arm to cross a
> > street.
> >
> > Bottom line, I thin, is that anyone needs to be at least a bit
> > concerned about somebody grabbing them particularly in situations
> > where he might be trying to pick your pocket or such. The fact is
> > many of that kind are put off some by dogs.
> >
> > I also think women who are blind get physically contacted more than
> > do blind men. Somebody from AFB wrote a NY Times article about it a
> > few years ago.
> > I will do my best to get ahold of it. I want AFB in on the book
> > project in some way, by the way.
> >
> > This thing really might take off.
> >
> > E.
> >
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> >
> >
>
>
>
>
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