[bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People

  • From: "Dan Beaver" <dbeaver888@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2006 07:10:05 -0500

Hmmm, maybe this one should go under this subject. Although, maybe it should be under people who do not think.


Back in the 80s I went on a business trip. I took a flight to New York state.

When I got to my seat I found that I had 2 other travelers sitting in the same row with me. That was fine since I enjoy talking with people and meeting new people. We hit it off pretty well too. After a very few questions about my Guide Dog and how we travel things moved to much more normal topics.

After a while the flight attendants began the process of distributing drinks and nuts or something of that sort. Of course I could hear them slowly moving their way along the isle. I wasn't planning on partaking and was planning to politely let them know that when they asked.

When the flight atendant got to our row she placed 1 hand on the back of my seat and 1 on the back of the seat in front of me. It didn't bother me but I had to wonder what that would be like for a sighted guy. She asked the 2 people between me and the window waht they would like.

Once she had gotten their refreshments she stepped back. She leaned down very close to my face and literally yelled, "would you like anything to eat?".

I just quietly said no thanks.

After she moved on down the isle the 2 folks next to me expressed amazement and near anger that she would do such a thing. One of them started snickering and said, "you are just blind not deaf too right?".

I have to admit at this point that I seriously considered screaming back, "no thanks.". But I didn't. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 12:37 AM
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People


What you say is true.  Regrettably, we live in a dangerous world.   If I'd
been more uneasy, I might have shoved him away, which could be dangerous for
him in the middle of an intersection.

I also think you're right about more physical contact. A new acquaintance, when offering to guide me in a restaurant (a courtesy I will accept, because
the restaurants I tend to go to seem to have lots of cramped spaces and
such), slipped my hand in his to guide. I pulled my hand back and took his
arm.  I wouldn't have minded flirting with him, but he's married, and so
even holding hands seems off limits to me.  Maybe that's an entirely
different subject, though.


-----Original Message-----
From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth and
Burton
Sent: Monday, December 04, 2006 10:23 PM
To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People

Reality is grabbing someone, particularly a woman without asking first is a stressful and possibly dangerous experience for the person being grabbed. I understand the need to help. I will stress in the book what we all know and have been trying to stress and will use humor to do it. The human being is
equipped with a mouth and the ability to use it.  Please let's learn the
following phrases.  Repeat after me children:
"May I pet your dog."
"Do you need help."
alternatives to "Do you need help" include "Are you all right?"

The implicit thing often thought is "I am worried about you.  Do you need
help?" (can I stop worrying) and the other question is "I have nobody to
help and here is a person I can help."  I do not like this attitude much
since I dislike being an object attracting folks who feel so non-needed and
attracting them for their needs not my help By the way, you can tell that
kind. Those are the ones who keep insisting and hang on after you have said
you do not need help.

On a more ominous note, I think there are men who physically grab blind
women for the same reason they would like to grab or touch a woman or any
kind. You can tell this kind because he is the one who tries to cop a feel
of my tit while I am hholding his arm to cross a street.

Bottom line, I thin, is that anyone needs to be at least a bit concerned
about somebody grabbing them particularly in situations where he might be
trying to pick your pocket or such.  The fact is many of that kind are put
off some by dogs.

I also think women who are blind get physically contacted more than do blind
men.  Somebody from AFB wrote a NY Times article about it a few years ago.
I will do my best to get ahold of it. I want AFB in on the book project in
some way, by the way.

This thing really might take off.

E.

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