[bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People

  • From: Elizabeth and Burton <thoth93@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 05 Dec 2006 02:39:12 -0500

Under different circumstances I do a variety of things. That is the courtesous good part about asking. It gives the disabled person a chance to do what works at the moment.


E.
At 02:27 AM 12/5/2006, you wrote:
No, same subject, different aspect. I think at CSUN a
couple of years ago I had to ask, or be told, how to
guide Donna to the restaurant. I didn't know whether
she should take my arm or I should take hers. She took
charge and told me. I wouldn't think of taking a
person's hand, though, just because I don't think it's
very effective.

Cindy

--- Lora <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> What you say is true.  Regrettably, we live in a
> dangerous world.   If I'd
> been more uneasy, I might have shoved him away,
> which could be dangerous for
> him in the middle of an intersection.
>
> I also think you're right about more physical
> contact.  A new acquaintance,
> when offering to guide me in a restaurant (a
> courtesy I will accept, because
> the restaurants I tend to go to seem to have lots of
> cramped spaces and
> such), slipped my hand in his to guide.  I pulled my
> hand back and took his
> arm.  I wouldn't have minded flirting with him, but
> he's married, and so
> even holding hands seems off limits to me.  Maybe
> that's an entirely
> different subject, though.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On
> Behalf Of Elizabeth and
> Burton
> Sent: Monday, December 04, 2006 10:23 PM
> To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful
> People
>
> Reality is grabbing someone, particularly a woman
> without asking first is a
> stressful and possibly dangerous experience for the
> person being grabbed.  I
> understand the need to help.  I will stress in the
> book what we all know and
> have been trying to stress and will use humor to do
> it.  The human being is
> equipped with a mouth and the ability to use it.
> Please let's learn the
> following phrases.  Repeat after me children:
> "May I pet your dog."
> "Do you need help."
> alternatives to "Do you need help" include "Are you
> all right?"
>
> The implicit thing often thought is "I am worried
> about you.  Do you need
> help?" (can I stop worrying) and the other question
> is "I have nobody to
> help and here is a person I can help."  I do not
> like this attitude much
> since I dislike being an object attracting folks who
> feel so non-needed and
> attracting them for their needs not my help By the
> way, you can tell that
> kind.  Those are the ones who keep insisting and
> hang on after you have said
> you do not need help.
>
> On a more ominous note, I think there are men who
> physically grab blind
> women for the same reason they would like to grab or
> touch a woman or any
> kind.  You can tell this kind because he is the one
> who tries to cop a feel
> of my tit while I am hholding his arm to cross a
> street.
>
> Bottom line, I thin, is that anyone needs to be at
> least a bit concerned
> about somebody grabbing them particularly in
> situations where he might be
> trying to pick your pocket or such.  The fact is
> many of that kind are put
> off some by dogs.
>
> I also think women who are blind get physically
> contacted more than do blind
> men.  Somebody from AFB wrote a NY Times article
> about it a few years ago.
> I will do my best to get ahold of it.  I want AFB in
> on the book project in
> some way, by the way.
>
> This thing really might take off.
>
> E.
>
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>




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