[bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People

  • From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2006 06:14:18 -0700

LOL.  And what are your qualifications?  <Smirking right back at ya*


-----Original Message-----
From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Robert Riddle
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 6:11 AM
To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People

Hey Lora, I ain't married, smirk. Heh just kidding.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 4:06 AM
Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People


> Yes, if he'd asked, I would have told him, and under different 
> circumstances, might even have chosen to hold hands.  It's not nearly 
> as effective, but on the other hand, we were only going a short distance.
>
> Communication is at the center of it all.  And I suppose I'm not 
> surprised that many people don't try to communicate;  I don't think 
> it's something Americans are really good at.
>
> Be that as it may, talk to me, folks, before you grab me, and we'll do
just
> fine. ;)
>
> Like Donna, I'll happily educate, and tell you what would be helpful.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth 
> and Burton
> Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 12:39 AM
> To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People
>
> Under different circumstances I do a variety of things.  That is the 
> courtesous good part about asking.  It gives the disabled person a 
> chance
to
> do what works at the moment.
>
> E.
> At 02:27 AM 12/5/2006, you wrote:
> >No, same subject, different aspect. I think at CSUN a couple of years 
> >ago I had to ask, or be told, how to guide Donna to the restaurant. I 
> >didn't know whether she should take my arm or I should take hers. She 
> >took charge and told me. I wouldn't think of taking a person's hand, 
> >though, just because I don't think it's very effective.
> >
> >Cindy
> >
> >--- Lora <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >
> > > What you say is true.  Regrettably, we live in a
> > > dangerous world.   If I'd
> > > been more uneasy, I might have shoved him away, which could be 
> > > dangerous for him in the middle of an intersection.
> > >
> > > I also think you're right about more physical contact.  A new 
> > > acquaintance, when offering to guide me in a restaurant (a 
> > > courtesy I will accept, because the restaurants I tend to go to 
> > > seem to have lots of cramped spaces and such), slipped my hand in his
to guide.
> > > I pulled my hand back and took his arm.  I wouldn't have minded 
> > > flirting with him, but he's married, and so even holding hands 
> > > seems off limits to me.  Maybe that's an entirely different 
> > > subject, though.
> > >
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > > [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of 
> > > Elizabeth and Burton
> > > Sent: Monday, December 04, 2006 10:23 PM
> > > To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > > Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People
> > >
> > > Reality is grabbing someone, particularly a woman without asking 
> > > first is a stressful and possibly dangerous experience for the 
> > > person being grabbed.  I understand the need to help.  I will 
> > > stress in the book what we all know and have been trying to stress 
> > > and will use humor to do it.  The human being is equipped with a 
> > > mouth and the ability to use it.
> > > Please let's learn the
> > > following phrases.  Repeat after me children:
> > > "May I pet your dog."
> > > "Do you need help."
> > > alternatives to "Do you need help" include "Are you all right?"
> > >
> > > The implicit thing often thought is "I am worried about you.  Do 
> > > you need help?" (can I stop worrying) and the other question is "I 
> > > have nobody to help and here is a person I can help."  I do not 
> > > like this attitude much since I dislike being an object attracting 
> > > folks who feel so non-needed and attracting them for their needs 
> > > not my help By the way, you can tell that kind.  Those are the 
> > > ones who keep insisting and hang on after you have said you do not
need help.
> > >
> > > On a more ominous note, I think there are men who physically grab 
> > > blind women for the same reason they would like to grab or touch a 
> > > woman or any kind.  You can tell this kind because he is the one 
> > > who tries to cop a feel of my tit while I am hholding his arm to 
> > > cross a street.
> > >
> > > Bottom line, I thin, is that anyone needs to be at least a bit 
> > > concerned about somebody grabbing them particularly in situations 
> > > where he might be trying to pick your pocket or such.  The fact is 
> > > many of that kind are put off some by dogs.
> > >
> > > I also think women who are blind get physically contacted more 
> > > than do blind men.  Somebody from AFB wrote a NY Times article 
> > > about it a few years ago.
> > > I will do my best to get ahold of it.  I want AFB in on the book 
> > > project in some way, by the way.
> > >
> > > This thing really might take off.
> > >
> > > E.
> > >
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> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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