[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Books 15-20]
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan.blake@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 30 Aug 2012 15:07:58 -0700
On Wed, Aug 29, 2012 at 3:04 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> Speaking about commas:
> <http://projectaon.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=gotopost&board=helpwanted&thread=706&post=38777>
>
> (er) 02fotw 49:
> Sails tear, ropes mysteriously untie themselves and timbers warp and leak.
> The men become short-tempered in the cramped quarters and fighting, often to
> the death, is commonplace.
>
>
> The first sentence should have a serial comma before 'and'. [tw] writes: "I
> would have written "their cramped quarters". A comma before "and fighting"
> might also improve readability." I'm not sure about changing 'the' to
> 'their' (the original seems correct to me), but should there be a comma
> before 'and fighting' in view of last week's discussion?
Agreed on the first sentence. Regarding the second, "the" is fine
as-is, and here a couple options for punctuation that I think works:
"The men become short-tempered in the cramped quarters, and fighting —
often to the death — is commonplace."
"The men become short-tempered in the cramped quarters, and fighting,
often to the death, is commonplace."
I prefer the first option. I would have also suggested parentheses,
but Joe rarely seems to use them in these situations, or at least
that's my impression.
--
Jon
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