[projectaon] Re: Grand Master comment period [Books 15-20]
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2012 15:03:39 -0700
On Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 3:24 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> BOOK 18:
>
> (er) 271: The bridge, and the surrounding banks of the river, are -> The
> bridge and the surrounding banks of the river are
fixed
> (ne) Errata: (33) Replaced '‘or less '’ with ‘'or less,'’. -> (33) Replaced
> '‘or less <!--link-text-->turn’' with '‘or less, <!--link-text-->turn’'.
> [so: The trailing space was there because I didn't originally know how to
> get checkerrata.pl to work properly with <link-text> elements! >_< ]
fixed
> BOOK 19:
>
> (er) Improved Disciplines: The degree of damage so caused, and the resultant
> drain upon a Grand Crown’s reserves of ENDURANCE, are dependent -> The
> degree of damage so caused and the resultant drain upon a Grand Crown’s
> reserves of ENDURANCE are dependent [so: Also (ne) in Book 20.]
fixed
> (??) 6, 62, 220, 257, 312, 338: If you possess a Bow, and the Discipline of
> Magi-magic and have attained the rank of Kai Grand Guardian -> If you
> possess a Bow and the Discipline of Magi-magic, and have attained the rank
> of Kai Grand Guardian
Original (I'm assuming all of these were originally the same):
"If you possess a Bow, and the Discipline of Magi-magic, and have
attained the Kai rank of Sun Lord..."
What I've changed it to:
"If you possess a Bow, the Discipline of Magi-magic, and have attained
the Kai rank of Sun Lord..."
> (er) 27: other traps here, and there -> other traps here and there
Full sentence: "Your senses detect no glyphs or other traps here, and
there are no residues of magical energy that might betray the presence
of illusions or shielding spells."
The two independent clauses need the comma.
> (er) 37: sword, axe, or dagger -> Sword, Axe, or Dagger
In full context, changed it to "bladed Weapon (i.e. Sword, Short
Sword, Broadsword, Axe, or Dagger)"
> (er) 129: click!, and -> click! and
Not ideal, but fixed. Another possibility is removing the exclamation point.
> (er) 134: this [W]eapon or skill -> this [W]eapon or this skill [so: weapon
> -> Weapon is an erratum that has already been implemented here.]
fixed
> (er) 138: wumph!, the -> wumph! the
fixed
> (er) 148: that remain -> that remains
fixed
> (er) 198, 292: and, with a deafening wumph!, it -> and with a deafening
> wumph! it
fixed
> (er) 199: The first thing you see are the creature’'s eyes -> The first
> things you see are the creature'’s eyes
Changed to "The first thing you see is the creature's eyes"
> BOOK 20:
>
> (er) 4 [Caption]: carpet of maggots squirm -> carpet of maggots squirms
OK as-is
> (er) 4: and instantly the carpet of maggots wriggle and squirm towards ->
> and instantly the carpet of maggots wriggles and squirms towards
OK as-is
> (er) 60: Tormentress’, and it reveals -> Tormentress’. It also reveals
Pretty awkward run-on. Fixed.
> (er) 63: The shrieks of the fliers draws an expectant crowd -> The shrieks
> of the fliers draw an expectant crowd
fixed
> (ne) Errata: Replaced and ‘reptillian’ -> Replaced ‘reptillian’
fixed
> (ne) Errata: and’.Replaced -> and’. Replaced
fixed
Phew!
--
Jon
~~~~~~
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