[projectaon] Re: Comment period for 1-7
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:14:47 +0000
On 17/02/2012 00:50, Jonathan Blake wrote:
In preparation for the comment periods for Lone Wolf 1-7, I used
docdiff to create difference files between the current revision and my
best guess of the last published revision (I think my guess is pretty
good). I generated a simple edition for each revision using the
current XSL (glad we've stayed backwards compatible!). You can find
the diffs and the separate editions here:
http://projectaon.org/staff/jonathan/diffs/
:-O
Jon, you're really spoiling us! :-D These make it SO much easier to
edit. Thanks!!
With that ready, I propose we start the comment period immediately and
finish at the end of the 24th. Please play through them, look at the
diffs, whatever you think is necessary to vet them before we republish
them sometime after the 24th. Report back anything that you think is
amiss.
OK, a quick spell-check, diff-comparison, and perusal of the respective
Footnotes pages turned up the following things. There's more than I'd
like or hoped, but far, far less than I've ever turned up before... ;-)
BOOK 1:
(er) Disciplines: Explained fully in the Equipment section. -> This is
[Or, This will be] explained fully in the Equipment section.
(er) 154: the last thing you feel are the black shafts of their arrows
-> the last things you feel are the black shafts of their arrows
(er) 347: One end of the bundle -> One end of each bundle
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#1--Section 76; #4--Section 236 (even just
1st sentence only, maybe?); #5--Section 304)
BOOK 2:
(ne) 314 (Caption): man with only one eye, is is carrying -> man with
only one eye, is carrying
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#1--Section 31; #9--Section 160;
#11--Section 194)
BOOK 3:
(ne) 55: [so: Delete the seven superfluous space (i.e. ASCII 32)
characters before "This COMBAT SKILL...]
(er) 160: Gallings or the smaller Ostrels -> gallings or the smaller ostrels
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#3--Section 26; #4--Section 45 (cf. our
distinction of a "Small Silver Key" in "The Kingdoms of Terror";
can/should we do something similar in this book?); #6--Section 91 (cf.
our change to Section 8) )
BOOK 4:
(er) 100 (Caption): A procession of red-cloaked priests enter -> A
procession of red-cloaked priests enters [so: Judgement call, but sounds
better, IMO]
(??) 129, 185, 269: [so: We've added "If you possess the Kai Discipline
of Hunting, you are unable to use it within the Maaken Mines." Should we
tack "...to fulfil a Meal requirement" onto the end of it?]
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#1--Section 12; #3--Section 25 (cf. Book 2
Section 150); #7--Section 120 (cf. Book 2 Section 150); #9--Section 171;
#10--Section 222 "Record this on your Action Chart as Captain D'val's
Sword")
BOOK 5:
(ne) Errata: in harmony with the recnt Mongoose Publishing edition -> in
harmony with the recent Mongoose Publishing edition
(ne) Errata: other words ending in -im [so: Should we change this to:
"other words ending in <ch.emdash/>im" or "... <ch.endash/>im"?]
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#3--Section 35; #8--Section 207;
#11--Section 350)
BOOK 6:
(ne) Errata: Many enemies in this book have had their statistics altered
in accordance with the Mongoose Publishing edition to balance the game.
Here is a table to show which enemies have been altered. -> One enemy in
this book has had his statistics altered in accordance with the Mongoose
Publishing edition to balance the game. Here is a table to show which
enemy has been altered. [so: Not all books have been as tweaked as Book 17!]
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#1--Section 2; #3--Section 13; #8--Section
158; #10--Section 252 (1st sentence at least); #12--Section 340)
BOOK 7:
(er) 74: DIE [so: Should we <strong> this instead of CAPITALS?]
Can the following footnotes be incorporated directly into the text
without being too intrusive? (#6--Section 76; #11--Section 257)
I've also made a couple of (ne) corrections since I turned them up at
the same time. Committed these as r1838 and r1839, but they only affect
Books 8, 9, 10, and 11.
Jonathan Blake also wrote:
Reviewing Fire on the Water:
78: Did we intend to remove the sentence "In the grey light of the
storm, you watch as the broken ship sinks beneath the heaving sea."?
It took much longer to review than Flight from the Dark. I think it's
only going to get longer.
Umm...I don't remember. I don't see any reason why the text should have
been deleted, so it can probably be reinstated...
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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