[projectaon] Re: Comment Period for Lone Wolf 1-7
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 9 Dec 2011 08:53:03 -0800
Now for 02fotw...
On Fri, Sep 23, 2011 at 2:54 PM, Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> On Fri, Sep 23, 2011 at 1:00 AM, Benjamin I Krefetz
> <krefetz@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>> 02fotw
>
>> 62: After "turn to 126" add "(You only have the option of not showing these
>> documents if you have the Seal of Hammerdal.)"
>
> Which is basically our footnote. Leave as-is.
Looking at it, this footnote seems almost trivial to me. I've added
"if you possess it" after "Seal of Hammerdal" and swapped the first
and second choices which seems to make it clear enough, but I'm open
to further suggestions.
>> 78: "or risk drowing" -> "or you will surely drown"
>
> I like this change.
Already fixed.
>> 79: They incorporated our footnote as a separate paragraph.
>
> I'd say leave it as a footnote because we're preserving the original
> text better that way. If someone has some arguments for going the
> other way, please share.
>
>> 242: They incorporated our footnote as a separate paragraph.
I still think these work best as footnotes.
>> 91: They appended our first footnote to the end of the first paragraph. For
>> the second, "Enough Foor for 2 Meals" -> "Bread, enough for 1 Meal // Fruit,
>> enough for 1 Meal"
>
> Leave it as we have it, although I would suggest we change:
>
> Food -> food
I've included the first footnote in the text, but left the second one as-is.
>> 103: "Remember to add this to your Action Chart." -> "If you do not have a
>> Backpack, remember that you cannot carry this Meal of Laumspur and must
>> consume it immediately or abandon it."
>
> Leave as-is.
Removed the first paragraph of the footnote and added "if you possess
a Backpack. Otherwise, you must consume it now or abandon it" after
"add this to your Action Chart".
>> 106: They appended to the second paragraph "(The Magic Spear is a
>> weapon-like Special Item. You will only receive the Weaponskill bonus in
>> this fight against the Helghast if you have Weaponskill with Spear)." Yes,
>> the period outside the parentheses is totally wrong :)
Added to the second paragraph, removed footnote (including the part
about two-handed weapons which seems to be better handled elsewhere).
>> 150: Replace last sentence of 3rd paragraph with "(You are now heading into
>> the Durenor Forest, east of the Wildlands. If you possess the Kai
>> Discipline of Hunting, you may now resume its use to fulfill your Meal
>> requirements. In this instance, if you have the Hunting Discipline, you can
>> use this skill to trap a wild moor-rat or a grey-speckled marshfowl for your
>> breakfast.)
I basically added our footnote as a paranthetical at the end of the paragraph.
>> 194: "your Weapons and all your Special Items (including the Seal of
>> Hammerdal) have been stolen by the fishermen." -> "and your Weapons have all
>> been stolen by the fishermen. The Seal of Hammerdal is also missing (all
>> other Special Items are still in your possession)."
>
> I think we should leave it as a footnote but not the Mongoose option
> of not losing all of your Special Items.
This change has been made.
>> 196: At our footnote, add "(Erase the Seal of Hammerdal from your Action
>> Chart)." Another misplaced period.
Inserted our footnote parenthetically.
>> 228: "go left" -> "take the road towards the east (left)"
>> "go right" -> "take the road towards the west (right)"
>
> In this kind of situation, we've recently been changing the text to
> match the parallel section, in this case 171. I suggest we change both
> options to:
>
> "If you wish to head east, turn to 27.
>
> "If you wish to head west, turn to 114."
This change was already made, but I removed the footnote.
>> 238: They appended to the second paragraph "(You only receive the free
>> silver token once, regardless of how many times you enter the
>> gaming-house)."
>
> Leave footnote as-is.
Appended that sentence of the footnote to the second paragraph, but
left the other parts of this section's footnotes alone although I did
move the first footnote marker.
>> 262: They deleted "Potion of Orange Liquid".
>
> I think we should leave the Potion of Orange Liquid, remove the first
> footnote, and remove our somewhat snarky "—further adding to its
> uselessness" from the second footnote.
Changes already made.
>> 284: They appended to the first sentence "(in this instance, do not erase
>> these from your Action Chart)".
>
> Leave the footnote as-is.
Added our footnote to the text.
>> 299: Their version is only winnable if you found the Magic Spear (regardless
>> of whether you give it to Rhygar).
>
> I swore a blood oath never to walk down this road again. Leave as-is. :)
*whistling past the graveyard*
>> 302: "climb the watchtower stairs and quickly search the" -> "set about a
>> quick search of these"
>
> I think we should adopt this change.
Change already made.
>> 327: They reduced the price from 6 to 3 but didn't address if you don't have
>> 3 GC.
>
> Leave footnote as-is.
Left it alone.
>> 328: They changed the first option to "If you have ever been given a Crystal
>> Star Pendant (regardless of whether or not you have lost it, or whether or
>> not you have the Kai Discipline of Tracking), turn to 113."
>
> Funny because they made it much harder to lose the Crystal Star
> Pendant. Leave as-is.
I changed the original to the "have ever been given" language, but
that still leaves the Tracking portion of the footnote. I think we can
solve that by changing the Crystal Star choice to read "turn
immediately to 113".
Thoughts?
>> 337: They replaced the sentence after our footnote with "(Although you keep
>> your Backpack, you lose everything it contained in addition to your Weapons
>> and the Chainmail Waistcoat. Make the necessary adjustments to your Action
>> Chart.)"
>
> Leave as-is. Does this make any of our footnotes about Backpacks obsolete?
I changed "Any weapons" to "Any Weapons and Backpack Items" and
removed our footnote.
To answer my own question, this change does not affect our Backpack
footnotes because this isn't the path where the sailors mug you. You
still lose your Backpack in that path.
>> 338: They appended our footnote to the end of the section.
>
> Leave as-is.
Added "erase the Magic Spear from your Action Chart and" to the option
about running away. Removed our footnote.
>> 346: They appended our footnote to the end of the second paragraph.
>
> Leave as-is.
How about we change "Hunting cannot be used on your journey through
the Wildlands" to "Hunting cannot be used on your journey through the
Wildlands to find Meals (including the Meal eaten here)"? I think we
could remove our footnote if we make this change.
Thanks again, Ben, for cataloging these changes made by Mongoose.
--
Jon
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