[projectaon] Re: Comment Period for Lone Wolf 1-7
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:54:31 -0700
On Fri, Sep 23, 2011 at 1:00 AM, Benjamin I Krefetz
<krefetz@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Ok. As promised, the Mongoose modifications to our footnotes.
>
> I'm not going to argue for or against any individual corrections, but I
> wanted to put them all out there for discussion.
Thanks for compiling these, Ben.
> 01fftd
>
> 137: Replace third sentence with "If you wish to gather up and keep these
> gems, mark them on your Action Chart as '20 Tomb Guardian Gems' (together
> they take up only 1 space in your Backpack)."
I think we should only change the footnote to say it is a Backpack
Item. We could alternatively add it parenthetically.
> 181: Joe reworked the section, and there's no mention of lost weapons and
> equipment.
> 205: After first sentence add "(You must now erase all weapons and backpack
> items from your Action Chart.)"
These two go together. One difference seems to be that Mongoose only
requires you to discard Weapons and Backpack Items, not Special Items
and Gold Crowns. We could add the sentence to 205 and remove the
offending sentence from 181: "You have lost your Weapons and
Equipment, but not your life."
> 304: Joe reworked and expanded the whole section.
Leave footnote as-is.
> 02fotw
> 62: After "turn to 126" add "(You only have the option of not showing these
> documents if you have the Seal of Hammerdal.)"
Which is basically our footnote. Leave as-is.
> 78: "or risk drowing" -> "or you will surely drown"
I like this change.
> 79: They incorporated our footnote as a separate paragraph.
I'd say leave it as a footnote because we're preserving the original
text better that way. If someone has some arguments for going the
other way, please share.
> 91: They appended our first footnote to the end of the first paragraph. For
> the second, "Enough Foor for 2 Meals" -> "Bread, enough for 1 Meal // Fruit,
> enough for 1 Meal"
Leave it as we have it, although I would suggest we change:
Food -> food
> 103: "Remember to add this to your Action Chart." -> "If you do not have a
> Backpack, remember that you cannot carry this Meal of Laumspur and must
> consume it immediately or abandon it."
Leave as-is.
> 106: They appended to the second paragraph "(The Magic Spear is a
> weapon-like Special Item. You will only receive the Weaponskill bonus in
> this fight against the Helghast if you have Weaponskill with Spear)." Yes,
> the period outside the parentheses is totally wrong :)
Leave as-is.
> 150: Replace last sentence of 3rd paragraph with "(You are now heading into
> the Durenor Forest, east of the Wildlands. If you possess the Kai
> Discipline of Hunting, you may now resume its use to fulfill your Meal
> requirements. In this instance, if you have the Hunting Discipline, you can
> use this skill to trap a wild moor-rat or a grey-speckled marshfowl for your
> breakfast.)
Leave as-is.
> 194: "your Weapons and all your Special Items (including the Seal of
> Hammerdal) have been stolen by the fishermen." -> "and your Weapons have all
> been stolen by the fishermen. The Seal of Hammerdal is also missing (all
> other Special Items are still in your possession)."
I think we should leave it as a footnote but not the Mongoose option
of not losing all of your Special Items.
> 196: At our footnote, add "(Erase the Seal of Hammerdal from your Action
> Chart)." Another misplaced period.
Leave as-is.
> 228: "go left" -> "take the road towards the east (left)"
> "go right" -> "take the road towards the west (right)"
In this kind of situation, we've recently been changing the text to
match the parallel section, in this case 171. I suggest we change both
options to:
"If you wish to head east, turn to 27.
"If you wish to head west, turn to 114."
> 238: They appended to the second paragraph "(You only receive the free
> silver token once, regardless of how many times you enter the
> gaming-house)."
Leave footnote as-is.
> 242: They incorporated our footnote as a separate paragraph.
Leave as-is.
> 262: They deleted "Potion of Orange Liquid".
I think we should leave the Potion of Orange Liquid, remove the first
footnote, and remove our somewhat snarky "—further adding to its
uselessness" from the second footnote.
> 284: They appended to the first sentence "(in this instance, do not erase
> these from your Action Chart)".
Leave the footnote as-is.
> 299: Their version is only winnable if you found the Magic Spear (regardless
> of whether you give it to Rhygar).
I swore a blood oath never to walk down this road again. Leave as-is. :)
> 302: "climb the watchtower stairs and quickly search the" -> "set about a
> quick search of these"
I think we should adopt this change.
> 327: They reduced the price from 6 to 3 but didn't address if you don't have
> 3 GC.
Leave footnote as-is.
> 328: They changed the first option to "If you have ever been given a Crystal
> Star Pendant (regardless of whether or not you have lost it, or whether or
> not you have the Kai Discipline of Tracking), turn to 113."
Funny because they made it much harder to lose the Crystal Star
Pendant. Leave as-is.
> 337: They replaced the sentence after our footnote with "(Although you keep
> your Backpack, you lose everything it contained in addition to your Weapons
> and the Chainmail Waistcoat. Make the necessary adjustments to your Action
> Chart.)"
Leave as-is. Does this make any of our footnotes about Backpacks obsolete?
> 338: They appended our footnote to the end of the section.
Leave as-is.
> 346: They appended our footnote to the end of the second paragraph.
Leave as-is.
--
Jon
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