[projectaon] Re: 21votm errata
- From: Jonathan Blake <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Project Aon List <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:33:57 -0700
On Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 8:26 PM, Jonathan Blake <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> More another day.
(er) 1: far to the west of Magnamund -> ? far in the west of Magnamund
[LM] [so: Or, far to the west of Sommerlund?]
My impression is that these mean the same thing. Cf.
http://www.westofengland.org/
(er) 2: Funtal's Castle -> Funtal's castle [SD]
(er) 6: children come -> children comes
(er) 8: If you have some money and you wish to pay her 1 Gold Crown,
turn to 346. // If you have no money, turn to 208. -> If you have some
money and you wish to pay her 1 Gold Crown, turn to 346. // If you
have no money or do not wish to pay, turn to 208. [LM]
(er) 11: drawing your Magnakai skill -> ? drawing upon your Magnakai
skill (or is this idiom?) [LM]
agreed
(er) 12, 104, 163, 178, 189, 238, 323, 341: Kai curing -> Magnakai Curing
I think the intention isn't to reference a specific discipline here. OK as-is.
(er) 13, 97, 121: ghastly green eyes -> (what was decided about this?
i forgot.) [LM]
(er) 13, 97, 121: crackling blue fire -> crackling, blue fire [LM]
I just decided to read up on this to make sure we're doing the right
thing. I dare you to read and retain all of the following. You'll be
our resident adjective expert.
http://www.fortunecity.com/bally/durrus/153/gramch21.html
If not, here's the relevant part:
~~~~~~
In addition, defining adjectives, proper adjectives, and adjectives
indicating color and materials are usually not preceded by commas. In
the following examples, adjectives of these types are underlined.
e.g. a large egg carton
a beautiful Chinese vase
elegant black boots
a dilapidated stone building
~~~~~~
So it sounds like we should reverse any past decisions on this. Also,
leave as-is.
(er) 14: militia are -> militia is [LM]
OK as-is since they can be seen as searching individuals.
(er) 17, 28, 77, 267: south/east gatehouse -> South/East Gatehouse
[SO: cf. Book 9]
(er) 28, 73: south gate -> South Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and
27]
Unless it's a proper name, it should stay as-is.
(er) 21: sword arm -> sword-arm [??]
If this were a compound noun modifier, then I would say yes. In this
is case, it's OK.
(er) 21: enemy launch -> ? enemy launches [LM]
This is an "enemy horde" so enemy is used here in a collective sense. OK as-is.
(er) 26: well known -> well-known [SD]
An adverb-adjective modifier doesn't need a hyphen. OK as-is.
(er) 30: crowd burst -> crowd bursts (crowd singular cf ref 236) [LM]
Each individual in the crowd can laugh as it is here, but in 236 each
individual can't flow around you. :) OK as-is.
(er) 33 [x2], 151, 164: weapons -> ? Weapons [LM]
agreed
(er) 35: the Trarta shoal have -> the Trarta shoal has [LM]
This one is debatable.
(er) 40: The troupe are gifted acrobats and jugglers -> ? The troupe
is gifted acrobats and jugglers [LM] [so: Or, The troupe is comprised
of.../The troupe comprises...]
OK as-is.
(er) 41: a large crowd come and gather -> a large crowd comes and
gathers [LM]
agreed
(er) 47, 123: you see your own Arrow strike -> (in order to arrive at
this section, you must opt to not use a bow) [LM]
Well that's a bit odd. The only way I can see to fix this is to remove
that entire sentence, which seems rather intrusive. Any other
suggestions?
(er) 49: face-down [Is this OK?]
I think so. I've also found some indication that "facedown" is OK but
that just lookswrong. :)
That's it for today. I'll pick up on the discussion later this weekend.
--
Jon
~~~~~~
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