>>I don’t like the last line, and I think that is what makes me turn off every time I read it
The last line is a nod to Rilke's Archaic Torso of Apollo. James Merrill has a lovely poem about swans. Then there's the Sibelius piece with English horn that frequently brings me to tears. Yeats swims past. Wodehouse writes about a nasty swan attack. Proust only puns.
There is no male or female writing ... only good and bad. And as Spinoza said, all excellent things are as difficult as they are rare.
Eric Yost once wrote, "Beauty is the self organized by surprise." His egotism is unappealing.
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