[guide.chat] jokes
- From: "Stanley Carter" <stanleycarter3@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:52:48 -0000
jokes
old
gose to have is eyes checked it turns out he needed glasses quite badly and
slithers away wearing a pair of thick spectacles a week later the snake
returens to enquire about contact lenses the snake looks very depressed
so the optician ask him what's worng everthing all right ?
asks the optician
are your glasses okay? they 're fine repiled the snake glumly .they're real
help when it comes to catching food and looking out for eagles wanting to
eat me and suchlike so why the long face ?
asks the optician the snake sight and says well when i get home i sithered
over to show my wife my new glasses and i discovered i spent the last two
years living with a hose-pipe
snobbery bill smith is a rag and bone man he's a poor illliterate fellow
with very littel enucation for years he scrapes a liveing collecting
scrap but one day is luck changes he makes a deal to salvage metal from
a old shipyard and when the price of steel rockets he finds he's maid it it
rich soon after is good fortune bill's bank manager rings mr smith says
the bank manager i have a query about your account for years you've
signed your cheques with two crosses but now we're receiving cheques
marked with three crosses is this your signature?
yes says bill its the wife idea she reckons that now we've gone up in the
wolard i ought to to have a middle name
my aunt's a terrilb snob she went on a cruise and rrefused an invitation to
dine at the captain's table she dident wont to be seen enting with the crew
snowmen
the are two snowmen in a field one says to the other can you smell
carrots?
social blunders
i went to a tea party at the vicarage yesterday while i was standing there
the vicar's cat came along and started licking its back i said wow reverend
i wish that agile enough to do that don't you ?witch would have been all right
except that by the time the vicar turned round to look the damned cat was
licking its ass
social work
one social worker gose to anther social worker and says
hey do you do you know what the time is ?
sorry says the second social worker i don't have a watch never mind says
the first social worker
the mein thing is that we tarked about it
whats the difference beteen a social worker and a pitbull terrier?you can
usually manage to get your baby from the pitbull
sociology
a sociolgist is some one who when abeautiful woamem entrs the room and
everbody looks at her ,
look everbody
sort of soft of is such a harmless thing to say sort of its just a filler sort
of it dusen't really mean anything but after certain things sort of means
everything like after i love you or you're going to live or its a boy
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