[lit-ideas] Re: News via the web
- From: "Andreas Ramos" <andreas@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 4 Apr 2004 23:31:09 -0700
> "Too busy for lasting relationships" is a trope now heard around the
> world. It reflects social arrangements common in market-driven
> societies where work has become the primary source of identity and
> commercial entertainment replaces family and neighborhood.
It's pretty catastrophic in Calif. For the Valentine's issue of San
Francisco Magazine, there were four articles on dating in SF. SF is widely
seen as the most romantic city in the USA (according to polls), yet the
reality of dating in SF? Nobody dates anymore. Many friends tell me they've
not been on a date in two or three years.
SF Magazine did their own polls and found that 50% of men and women don't
date anymore. About 50% had not been on a date in two years. 80% of the guys
would rather spend the evening with friends than go on a date.
In most societies, about 80% of women have children. But in Calif, it's down
to 60%. Very soon, women-who-have-children may be a minority. That has
serious implications for women's perceptions and expectations of themselves
and their roles.
The arguments are the same: too busy for relationships, relationships didn't
go anywhere, too difficult, and so on. For some people, marriage got in the
way of dating. Very few live together anymore.
Practically all of my friends are single and they live alone. I know
literally only a handful of people who have spouses, and yet fewer who have
children with their spouse (and these couples are all in their 50s). Those
are outnumbered by the few who have children without an adult companion.
Meanwhile, politicians continue to talk about the sanctity of marriage and
the family. Like, get a clue! That stuff has no practical meaning to most
urban people under 40.
yrs,
andreas
www.andreas.com
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