[lit-ideas] Re: Ask the Ayatollah
- From: "Steve Chilson" <stevechilson@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 05:41:49 +0100
I dunno, Andy. People kill themselves everyday. They join corporate
firms, they slink into to their skin in the mourning, they smile when
they don't mean it, etc.
Granted, blowing yourself up is big.
People with grand ideas, people with faith and hope, like people who can
muster the energy to masturbate when they're fasting.
Making oneself heard is overrated solely because the people who have
something to say do it quietly.
For the record, I now live in Birmingham, Burrrr-mingam, Brummyham.
Demographics suggest it will be the first minority UK city by 2050.
I'll likely be dead by then but anyway, short story long, my cab was
late last friday night and when I called the service they said, oh, it's
Ramadan, all the cabbies on a friday night will be in prayer. Oddly
enough, when the cab comes, it's a muslim driver. You can tell because
there are only three kinds of cabbies in B'ham: white, muslim and sikh
and they all have their distinctions. Anyway, this bloke is muslim and
so I had to ask about ramadan (albeit this was before the masturbation
speech) and after talking to this chap I thought well, it sounds good,
I'll try it not religiously but just for the spiritual contemplation.
So Saturday morning I wake up, completely forget about it, make a nice
fry up of eggs, bacon, apple sausage, a little side of black pudding,
some refried beans and a few chocolate chip cookies. Forgot all about
it until 11 or so and then I was like, shit, so much for that.
But I can report that I fasted on Sunday.
Faster than ever. The key is to stay up very late and then waking up
very late so the time until you can stop fasting is minimal. I'm sure
masturbators cheat like this in some way too. There's probably a book
on it somewhere, the Koran cliffnotes on jerking off or something. I
wonder if you jerk off before you blow yourself up if you're denied ALL
the virgins waiting for you in heaven or just SOME of them.
Just so you know, I'm against masturbation generally, at any hour.
You don't see fish masturbating do you?
And didn't we come from fish or something?
So there you go. Dwarkian reductionist theory on masturbation.
Keep your hands to yourself Andy boy.
On Fri, 6 Oct 2006 23:59:24 -0400, "Andy Amago" <aamago@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
said:
> This is okay except it doesn't take into account the desperation people
> who
> need to resort to blowing themselves up feel. Those are political
> statements. When people can't make themselves heard, it's as if they
> don't
> exist. When you don't exist, you can blow yourself up, right? None of
> it
> has anything to do with religion.
>
> For the record, fasting in moderation is actually good for the body. We
> evolved during times when there was much scarcity, and the body actually
> needs scarcity to function optimally. Food in more than small quantities
> is seen as an foreign substance, it elicits an inflammatory response.
> Maybe there's something in religion that makes a virtue of scarcity,
> which
> today's availability of 3,000+ calories for every man, woman and child in
> this country makes it easy to mock.
>
>
>
>
> > [Original Message]
> > From: Steve Chilson <stevechilson@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > Date: 10/6/2006 11:26:47 PM
> > Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: Ask the Ayatollah
> >
> > I dunno, Andy but I'll indulge you because I indulged myself.
> >
> > I think it's appropriate to forbit masturbation during Ramadan. It's
> > very stoic in a sense. I feel nothing. You want to see how nothing I
> > feel? I can blow myself up and put nails in the explosives I use to
> > maximise death.
> >
> > And I won't masturbate or eat before 7.
> >
> > Can you masturbate during Ramadan so long as you do it during the hours
> > you're allowed to eat and drink liquid?
> >
> > Why don't Christians fast?
> >
> > Bobby Sands fasted and look where it got him.
> >
> > the big question to me is IF YOU'RE FASTING HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE
> > ENERGY TO WANT TO MASTURBATE TO BEGIN WITH?
> >
> > these people should be promoted. they must have stronger spiritual
> > qualities that can be turned into cash and guns and love.
> >
> > But you asked Andy, the issue of swallowing and my understanding is that
> > it's a-ok to swallow come so long as it comes from god or allah.
> > everyone else's come is taboo.
> >
> >
> > On Fri, 6 Oct 2006 23:03:21 -0400, "Andy Amago" <aamago@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > said:
> > > > [Original Message]
> > > > From: Steve Chilson <stevechilson@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > > > To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > > > Date: 10/6/2006 6:11:15 PM
> > > > Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: Ask the Ayatollah
> > > >
> > > > (pardon the blasphemy) but is sucking your own dick to the point of
> > > > climax a violation of fasting?
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > Not if you're in the Cirq du Soleil and only if you don't swallow.
> > > Having
> > > said that, what is there that's creepy about this image? Somehow
> sucking
> > > your own blood to keep yourself alive doesn't sound as nasty. Am I
> being
> > > a
> > > prudish Christian?
> > >
> > >
> > >
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> > --
> > Steve Chilson
> > stevechilson@xxxxxxxxxxx
> >
> > --
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Steve Chilson
stevechilson@xxxxxxxxxxx
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