[lit-ideas] Re: Right to Life, Right to Die

From: Eternitytime1@xxxxxxx
To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 12:53:10 EST
In a message dated 3/26/2005 7:40:49 AM Central Standard Time, 
aamago@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:
Even if this was
true, the fact that the courts didn't take Michael's behavior, whatever it
was, into account says it's beside the point and certainly not illegal. 
Dear Andy,
Much as I might want to sympathize with Michael, I cannot...it IS true that 
he barred her parents from the room...and it is true, as well, that he has also 
already 'moved on'.  If he was, indeed, engaging in domestic violence, the 
eating disorder she had could have been a result of that (and, as you state, it 
is sometimes about power/control...and so perhaps it was the only control she 
had over her own life OR maybe it was because he was not happy that she 
weighted 150 lbs [what she weighed when they marred--but she had always had 
fluctuating weight as many of us do] and so she had to do what she could in 
order to 
please him (esp if he got mad...)   Lest you think that all men engaging in 
domestic violence are brutes that show that behavior in the open, let me assure 
that there are many many who are extremely clever--very winsome, in fact.  
It would have been such a little 'gift' for her parents to have felt that 
they, as well, had 'tried everything' (presuming that is what Michael felt that 
he had done).  The fact that her brain MAY be now in a state where it would be 
next to impossible to revitalize is not relevant to the discussion of what he 
ought to have done ... at the point when he barred her parents from their 
daughter's room.  Okay--maybe it was not "illegal" but I do think it was 
horrible 
and mean and rotten.  And, I do not 'judge' easily--I will evaluate whenever 
possible and not judge.  Had her parents *really* felt that they had done all 
that they could do--perhaps they could have eased her away much more easily.   
If, as Michael says, Terri was not conscious, not feeling anything--then what 
would it have hurt to have allowed them to try 'everything'?  To be there, for 
her, to see for themselves?  (Being from Missouri <g>, I understand the 
concept of that...)  It would have done no harm to him--and much much for her 
parents--and for those of us who believe in science and miracles [often 
scientifically based but not known at the time], maybe the one odd time when 
someone does 
recover...

If this was about the 'living' and not the 'dead' (in Michael's mind) then he 
ought to have cared about how to assist walking THEM through this.  They were 
certainly there from the beginning--and were her parents.  Sure, the marriage 
takes precedence over the parent/child relationship--but that parent/child 
relationship is still there.  And, if nothing else--you walk people through 
their darkness--you don't just leave them there.

My former library director was in a coma three times...the last time for 
quite some time.  (He had also been given three months to live--in the 
beginning)  
 Sometimes you just do NOT know what will bring someone out of something 
where they are...and sure, if you have all the information (as Andreas had) and 
if 
you had tried everything (like the wife of my former library director was 
doing) and then still had no hope--then sure...go through the grieving process 
and learn to let someone go back to the Presence.  (my belief system <g>)   
But--if you have not the information and you had not been able to do/try all 
that 
was possible--how could you?  

It may not be that they are afraid of death--it may be that you simply love 
life so much and you want the rest of those you love and care for (and maybe 
even just like <G>) to learn how to do that, too.  After walking through the dar
kness that I did--and it was--I will walk beside those who enter in my life 
and will be passionate about them walking through their darkness and not giving 
up.  It's horrible and it is hard -- but it IS possible and it IS worth it.  
and maybe that is where her parents are--to just hold their daughter again 
(does anyone know if Michael is even now allowing them THAT?)  I remember what 
it 
was like when I was in the hospital across town from my child who was in his 
hospital.  It is the most horrible feeling--and I somehow managed to make them 
release me before they wanted to--I simply could not stand it.  I cannot 
imagine how horrible it would be to be barred from my child's room as they 
were.  
For not reason other than he didn't want them to do and to try...  Sounds like 
a power-control issue on his part to me...

Still sad,
Marlena in Missouri 


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[lit-ideas] Re: Right to Life, Right to Die

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