- So exactly whose point are you making? Those in favor of suing or those against? ----- Original Message ----- From: "Eric & Dayna East" <lichanura@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> To: <geocaching@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 10:16 PM Subject: [GeoStL] Re: Suing the government > - > This is sorta off topic but yet sorta on topic too. If you're easily offended, do not read it. > Otherwise, enjoy! > > Eric > > Subject: NOAH IN CURRENT USA > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It is the year 2003 and Noah lives in the United States. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to > make > > it > > > > > > > rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is > destroyed. > > > But > > > > I > > > > > > > want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of > > > living > > > > > > > thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an > > > Ark." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an > > > Ark. > > > > > > > Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build > the > > > > Ark. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring > > > > > > > everything aboard in one year." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth > and > > > all > > > > > > > the seas of the earth went into a tumult. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there > > were > > > > big > > > > > > > problems. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did > > not > > > > > > > comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and > > redraw > > > > the > > > > > > > plans. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark > > needed > > > a > > > > > > > fire sprinkler system and floatation devices. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning > > > ordinances > > > > by > > > > > > > building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance > from > > > the > > > > > > > city planning commission. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there > was > > a > > > > ban > > > > > > > on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I finally convinced the U.S.Forest Service that I needed the > wood > > to > > > > > > > save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let > me > > > > catch > > > > > > > any owls. So, no owls. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to > > > > negotiate > > > > > > > a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 > > carpenters > > > > on > > > > > > > the Ark, but still no owls. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > When I started rounding up the other animals, I got > > > > > > > sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me > > > > > > > only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got > > > > > > > the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not > complete > > > the > > > > > > > Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your > > > proposed > > > > > > > flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no > > > > > > > jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed > new > > > > flood > > > > > > > plain. I sent them a globe. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed > > > > > > > with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am > > > practicing > > > > > > > discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm > > > > > > > building the Ark in preparation to flee the country > > > > > > > to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the > > > > > > > State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to > > > > > > > register the Ark as a recreational water craft." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction > > > > > > > against further construction of the Ark, saying that > > > > > > > since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event > > > > > > > and therefore unconstitutional. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another > > > > > > > 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas > began > > to > > > > > > > calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. > > > "You > > > > > > > mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jim Bensman wrote: > > > - > > Ther law that set up the Ozark National Scenic Riverway states: > > For the purpose of conserving and interpreting unique scenic and other > > natural values and objects of historic interest, including preservation of > > portions of the Current River and the Jacks Fork River in Missouri as > > free-flowing streams, preservation of springs and caves, management of > > wildlife, and provisions for use and enjoyment of the outdoor recreation > > resources thereof by the people of the United States, the Secretary of the > > Interior (hereinafter referred to as the "Secretary") shall designate for > > establishment as the Ozark National Scenic Riverways > > > > 16 USC ? 460m. (Emphasis added.) > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx > > > [mailto:geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of BottomFeeder > > > Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 7:27 PM > > > To: geocaching@xxxxxxxxxxxxx > > > Subject: [GeoStL] Re: Suing the government > > > > > > > > > - > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > From: geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx > > > > [mailto:geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of SSG Dru C Reeves > > > > Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 6:48 PM > > > > - > > > > I understand your point Mike, but you also help pay for the > > > > military, > > > > but do you get to fly a F117 Stealth Fighter? > > > > > > Sorry, but that's a pretty weak analogy. Flying an F117 is not even > > > remotely close to a game. Noone, at least noone in their right mind, > > > would expect to get a joyride in one of these simply because they're a > > > good taxpaying citizen........to say nothing of the fact that the govt > > > will pay *you* to fly the things *IF* you've got the chops.(I wonder if > > > my Cessna 152 experence would qualify me? <g>) > > > > > > This situation is much more analogous to the Interstate highway system. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -= Russ =- (aka BottomFeeder) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ****************************************************************** > > > ********** > > > Our WebPage! 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