[GeoStL] Re: Suing the government
- From: Eric & Dayna East <lichanura@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: geocaching@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2003 22:16:18 -0500
-
This is sorta off topic but yet sorta on topic too. If you're easily offended,
do not read it.
Otherwise, enjoy!
Eric
Subject: NOAH IN CURRENT USA
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It is the year 2003 and Noah lives in the United States.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to
make
> it
> > > > > > rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is
destroyed.
> > But
> > > I
> > > > > > want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of
> > living
> > > > > > thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an
> > Ark."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an
> > Ark.
> > > > > > Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build
the
> > > Ark.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring
> > > > > > everything aboard in one year."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth
and
> > all
> > > > > > the seas of the earth went into a tumult.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there
> were
> > > big
> > > > > > problems.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did
> not
> > > > > > comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and
> redraw
> > > the
> > > > > > plans.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark
> needed
> > a
> > > > > > fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning
> > ordinances
> > > by
> > > > > > building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance
from
> > the
> > > > > > city planning commission.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there
was
> a
> > > ban
> > > > > > on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I finally convinced the U.S.Forest Service that I needed the
wood
> to
> > > > > > save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let
me
> > > catch
> > > > > > any owls. So, no owls.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to
> > > negotiate
> > > > > > a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16
> carpenters
> > > on
> > > > > > the Ark, but still no owls.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > When I started rounding up the other animals, I got
> > > > > > sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me
> > > > > > only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got
> > > > > > the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not
complete
> > the
> > > > > > Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your
> > proposed
> > > > > > flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no
> > > > > > jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed
new
> > > flood
> > > > > > plain. I sent them a globe.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed
> > > > > > with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am
> > practicing
> > > > > > discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm
> > > > > > building the Ark in preparation to flee the country
> > > > > > to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the
> > > > > > State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to
> > > > > > register the Ark as a recreational water craft."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction
> > > > > > against further construction of the Ark, saying that
> > > > > > since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event
> > > > > > and therefore unconstitutional.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another
> > > > > > 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas
began
> to
> > > > > > calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully.
> > "You
> > > > > > mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has.
>
>
>
>
Jim Bensman wrote:
> -
> Ther law that set up the Ozark National Scenic Riverway states:
> For the purpose of conserving and interpreting unique scenic and other
> natural values and objects of historic interest, including preservation of
> portions of the Current River and the Jacks Fork River in Missouri as
> free-flowing streams, preservation of springs and caves, management of
> wildlife, and provisions for use and enjoyment of the outdoor recreation
> resources thereof by the people of the United States, the Secretary of the
> Interior (hereinafter referred to as the "Secretary") shall designate for
> establishment as the Ozark National Scenic Riverways
>
> 16 USC ? 460m. (Emphasis added.)
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > [mailto:geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of BottomFeeder
> > Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 7:27 PM
> > To: geocaching@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > Subject: [GeoStL] Re: Suing the government
> >
> >
> > -
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > > [mailto:geocaching-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of SSG Dru C Reeves
> > > Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 6:48 PM
> > > -
> > > I understand your point Mike, but you also help pay for the
> > > military,
> > > but do you get to fly a F117 Stealth Fighter?
> >
> > Sorry, but that's a pretty weak analogy. Flying an F117 is not even
> > remotely close to a game. Noone, at least noone in their right mind,
> > would expect to get a joyride in one of these simply because they're a
> > good taxpaying citizen........to say nothing of the fact that the govt
> > will pay *you* to fly the things *IF* you've got the chops.(I wonder if
> > my Cessna 152 experence would qualify me? <g>)
> >
> > This situation is much more analogous to the Interstate highway system.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -= Russ =- (aka BottomFeeder)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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> >
>
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