[yshavurah] Re: Bar/Bat Mitzvah rituals
- From: "Johanna" <rebiljoj@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "David Seitz" <david.seitz@xxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 13:05:16 -0500
David, et. al.
Daniele is absolutley right! I have no doubt that my grandfather could read
Torah at a young age. He certainly could as an adult and served as a hazzan
and chaplain for stateside troupes during WWII. My grandfather may also
have read the Torah portion, etc. but, let's face it, my father certainly
wasn't there to report about it! So, my dad may have been making a point,
or repeating the point that was made to him by his father. My grandfather
was also B. Mitzvah in Russia in what was probably the very late 1800's (he
was 36 or 37 when my dad was born, and he would be 84 today), so who knew
what they were able to do, or what it was even safe to do. I know very
little about their pre-US life.
What I do know it that it was not such a big deal for boys to do. Boys (but
definitly NOT girls) were taught, and expected to know, how to daven, read
Torah, lead services, and study Talmud, in addition to excelling in their
secular studies. What they didn't have it theater, basketball, soccer, etc.
competing for their time. They were not "well rounded." They also didn't
have the money to make a big deal out of it.
So, even though we reject the ostentation of most of the big B. Mitzvahs we
see today, it kind of makes sense that as Jews became more affluent, that
they would spend their money on a big deal for their kids. Things just got
out of hand, as they sometimes do.
You realize, of course, this is all a bit of CYA, for me. Rebecca wants a
big party with a DJ for her Bat Mitzvah, and, well, if the means are there,
we will probably do it. :-)
Johanna
----- Original Message -----
From: "David Seitz" <david.seitz@xxxxxxxxxx>
To: <rebiljoj@xxxxxxxxxx>
Cc: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2002 12:22 PM
Subject: Re: [yshavurah] Bar/Bat Mitzvah rituals
> Okay, Regarding my highly speculative theories about the
> American versions of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, I clearly shot off
> too quickly that time. I was trying to imagine this
> expansion of ritual (from only the Aliyah to so much more)
> from a historical and sociological perspective, but am
> guilty of the same brands of generalizations I alert my
> students to.
> Daniele, always my better half, suggested a notion that
> makes greater overall sense for the expansion of these
> religious expectations. She wonders if the increase of Torah
> reading and commentary expectations for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
> grew in response to the greater assimilation of Jews into
> American culture, that it could no longer be expected that a
> Jewish child would absorb this religious literacy with out
> explicit goals of instruction.
> Maybe that was all obvious to all of you, but I appreciate
> these insights.
> David
>
> Johanna wrote:
> >
> > I would not totally agree with David that the many of the rituals
regarding
> > Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are an American symbol of wealth and status, although
they
> > have certainly become that for many. A pubescent child taking on
religious
> > rites and obligations are celebrated in many, if not most, cultures in a
big
> > way, and I think it's appropriate. After all, our children, who learn
to
> > read from the Torah (a significant feat in itself), conduct a service,
write
> > a d'var Torah, and in many cases, develop and execute a mitzvah project;
> > have accomplished a lot---a whole lot!
> >
> > That accomplishment, and "coming of age" is to be celebrated! It's a
> > wonderful time for nachas for parents, grandparents, extended family and
> > community.
> >
> > Having said that, a Bar Mitzvah is NOT a party, as I've seen many people
> > assume. Even kids in the throws of preparing for their event look at it
as
> > a means to an end---the end being the big party and presents. I think
that
> > book that was published a number of years ago, "Putting G-d on the Guest
> > List," addresses this issue well, and I know it is required reading in
many
> > congregations for parents planning B Mitzvah.
> >
> > So, like most things, this is a matter of degree and intention. If your
> > intention is to show how rich and powerful you are, then, of course,
some
> > will be impressed, but most will recognize you are showing off (which of
> > course you are). If you intention is to celebrate a wonderful event in
your
> > child's life, and your own, based on whatever your means might be, then,
> > hey, go for it! :-)
> >
> > Just my 2 cents!
> >
> > Johanna
>
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