[yshavurah] Bar/Bat Mitzvah rituals
- From: "Johanna" <rebiljoj@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 11:16:07 -0500
I would not totally agree with David that the many of the rituals regarding
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are an American symbol of wealth and status, although they
have certainly become that for many. A pubescent child taking on religious
rites and obligations are celebrated in many, if not most, cultures in a big
way, and I think it's appropriate. After all, our children, who learn to
read from the Torah (a significant feat in itself), conduct a service, write
a d'var Torah, and in many cases, develop and execute a mitzvah project;
have accomplished a lot---a whole lot!
That accomplishment, and "coming of age" is to be celebrated! It's a
wonderful time for nachas for parents, grandparents, extended family and
community.
Having said that, a Bar Mitzvah is NOT a party, as I've seen many people
assume. Even kids in the throws of preparing for their event look at it as
a means to an end---the end being the big party and presents. I think that
book that was published a number of years ago, "Putting G-d on the Guest
List," addresses this issue well, and I know it is required reading in many
congregations for parents planning B Mitzvah.
So, like most things, this is a matter of degree and intention. If your
intention is to show how rich and powerful you are, then, of course, some
will be impressed, but most will recognize you are showing off (which of
course you are). If you intention is to celebrate a wonderful event in your
child's life, and your own, based on whatever your means might be, then,
hey, go for it! :-)
Just my 2 cents!
Johanna
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