[yshavurah] Fwd: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
- From: Clevineys@xxxxxxx
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- Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 12:53:32 EST
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FYI: Here is the response about Bar/Bat Mizvahs in the National Havurah's
listserv:
In a message dated 12/9/2002 8:51:24 AM Pacific Standard Time,
mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx writes:
> No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
> reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the Midwest,
> and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That year
> there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
> Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
> consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
> The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
>
> Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who drove
> in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
> tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
> panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
> for tablecloths.
> My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
> 10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
> and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting honeysuckle
> and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated parts
> of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped me
> serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
>
> It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope yours
> turns out as well!
>
Cheryl B. Levine, Psy.D.
Clinical and Consulting Psychologist
Positive Perspectives, Inc.
680 E. Dayton Yellow Springs Road
Fairborn, OH 45324
(937) 390-3800
Behavioral Science Coordinator
"Mad River Family Practice:
Ohio State University Rural Program"
4879 US Route 68 South
West Liberty, OH 43311
(937) 465-0080
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
--T.S. Eliot
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From: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
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MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
Topics covered in this issue include:
1) Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
by Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
2) Rabbis & life-cycle
by Awaskow@xxxxxxx
3) Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
by "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4445] Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
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Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:50:28 EST
No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the Midwest,
and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That year
there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who drove
in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
for tablecloths.
My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting honeysuckle
and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated parts
of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped me
serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope yours
turns out as well!
*************************************************************************
*************************************************************************
Barbara Straus Reed, Ph.D. School of Communication, Information
Associate Professor and Library Studies
Department of Journalism Rutgers University
and Media Studies 4 Huntington Street
(O)- 732-932-8567 New Brunswick, NJ 08903
(H)- 732-390-9124
FAX- 732-932-1523 or
732-432-0081
e-mail- reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It is easier to be forgiven than to ask permission.
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From: Awaskow@xxxxxxx
To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4446] Rabbis & life-cycle
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Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:53:57 EST
Dear Steve, and chevra --
None of the key Jewish life-cycle ceremonies except, of all things, divorce
and conversion, halachically requires the involvement of a rabbi, and the
bar/bat mitzvah ceremony least of all.
What the brit milah requires is a skilled mohel, what that, a wedding, a
burial require is knowledgeable Jews (e.g., the chevra kaddisha that
prepares a body for burial must be knowledgeable but not rabbis).
As you guessed, a bar/ bat mitzvah ceremony is in simple theory just the
recognition that at age 13 plus a day a boy and -- some would say at 12,
some at 12 1/2, some at 13 -- a girl -- has become bound by the grown-up
mitzvot, and can/should [but not "must"] therefore now represent the
congregation in prayer & Torah study by leading part of the service, reading
Torah and haftarah, and giving a drusha, an interpretation of Torah (the
"speech").
There is an artistry to doing these ceremonies in a way that touches the
mind, the heart, and the spirit that some rabbis, but surely not all, have
been trained for, and that some non-rabbis have learned.
I will be so bold as to suggest that the new book by Phyllis Berman &
myself,
A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN: THE JEWISH LIFE-SPIRAL AS A SPIRITUAL
PATH (Farrar Straus & Giroux) may be of great use to you and to others who
are creating, experiencing, or visiting any of the Jewish life--cycle
ceremonies. It tells the evolving history of these moments and rituals,
provides a handbook for doing them, and integrates them into a life-journey,
not just a blip of a ceremony here, a ceremony there.
It is available at Jewish bookstores and at Borders and Barnes & Noble, as
well as on-line through the Shalom Center Website < www.shalomctr.org >
under
Books.
According to halakha, a Jewish divorce and a conversion to Judaism are
legally so complex and have such powerful legal consequences that for these
purposes a rabbi is necessary. For a gett [divorce], indeed, a specially
skilled & knowledgeable rabbi.
Shalom, Arthur
Rabbi Arthur Waskow, Director
The Shalom Center < www.shalomctr.org >
To receive a weekly "thought-letter" on new Jewish approaches to
progressive/
renewal/ feminist approaches to prayer, celebration, Torah, & healing of the
world, Email: < ShalomCenterJ-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
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From: "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4447] Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
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Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:54:13 EST
Steve Freides asked:
> If one of the children in our recently-started
> havura wants to have a
> Bar or Bat Mitzvah, is that something we can
> 'legally', Jewish or
> otherwise, do? ... Is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah really
> anything other than
> an of-age person reading Torah for the first time
> and, in that way,
> different from, say, a wedding, which is a ceremony
> with legal
> implications, both Jewish and otherwise?
Steve--
The Hebrew term Bar Mitzvah is a term applied by the
Talmud to every adult Jew in the sense of "man of
duty." The Aramaic word bar, like the Hebrew word
ben, denotes, age, membership in a class, or
possession of some quality. (Therefore, the
widespread literal translation Bar Mitzvah as "a son
of the commandment" is misleading and inaccurate.) At
the age of thirteen, a Jewish boy is considered to be
personally responsible for the performance of his
religious obligations, such as putting on tefillin and
serving as part of a quorum of ten required for prayer
(minyan). His becoming Bar Mitzvah, which he will
remain for the rest of his life, is celebrated by his
being called up to the Torah for an aliya or reading
from the Torah and/or Prophets, which he is now
required to obey. Many scholars believe that Bar
Mitzvah celebrations data back six centuries, while
others argue for an earlier date. The Bible says
nothing about Bar Mitzvah, and while the Talmud gives
13 as an age when a boy must fulfill the commandments
and when his vows become binding, no ritual for
marking the event is prescribed, and mention of the
father's recitation of a blessing on the occasion does
not appear before the 16th century. After that, the
making of a seudat mitzvah in conjunction with this is
also found in many texts, both Ashkenazic and
Sephardic:
If you'd like some text as backup, here's something
Rabbi Joseph Hayyim Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, Ben
Ish Hai (Jerusalem, 1870, Parashat Reeh, p. 132:
"The male becomes obligated to perform the
commandments at the age of thirteen years and one day.
Therefore on the first day of the fourteenth year his
father takes him by the hand and says, "Blessed is he
who has freed me from the punishment incurred by this
one." . . . He makes a banquet for friends and
relatives, invites to it sages, and increases the
banquet and the joy as the hand of God has been
generous to him. This banquet will provide great
protection for the Jews when their defenders say
before God, 'Master of the universe, see how happy
your children are to enter the yoke of the
commandments. This banquet is called a seudat
mitzvah.. . . and those present will bless the son
that he will merit Torah, fear of heaven, and
fulfillment of the commandments. The great among the
invited will place their hands on his head and bless
him with the priestly blessing. If the son knows how
to preach about the Torah he will give a proper word
of Torah, if not the father will preach, and if not a
sage among the guests will preach. . ."
Notice, Steve--the first (and ideal) option is that
the new Bar Mitzva should give the d'var torah, second
choice the father, and only is the last option a
rabbi! Of all the life-cycle rituals, the one for
which there is the LEAST need for a rabbi is at a bar
mitzvah!
Traditionally girls did not have an immediate precept
such as tefillin to perform when they reached puberty
and became physically and religiously mature. But
apparently there were celebrations to mark a girl's
entry into maturity based on evidence in rabbinic
responsa. Sephardim were apparently ahead of
Ashkenazim in their adoption of Bat Mitzvah
celebrations, which appear to have begun in Italy and
the Balkans in the mid-1800's, and one was reportedly
celebrated in Cairo in 1907. Rabbi Joseph Hayyim
Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, who I was citing above,
goes on to say:
"And also the daughter on the day that she enters the
obligation of the commandment, even though they don't
make for her a seudah nevertheless that day will be
one of happiness. She will wear new clothing and
bless the sheheheyanu prayer and arrange for her entry
to the yoke of the commandments. There are those who
are accustomed to make her birthday every year into a
holiday. It is a good sign and this we do in our
house."
Nevertheless, the Bat Mitzvah of Judith Kaplan in 1921
is often cited as "the" first Bat Mitzvah. Anyway,
you don't need a rabbi for a bat mitzva either.
As for the kids in your havurah being young, you
should view this a marvelous opportunity to provide
them with education and incentive in their younger
years, and making them part of the community, rather
than just thinking in terms of bar/bat mitzva
training. You might think about creating the
equivalent of scouting "merit badges" for each of the
major prayers at the service, for when one of the kids
is able to lead the Shema and v'ahavta, Adon Olam,
etc. This can begin well in advance of bar mitzva,
and by bar mitzva, s/he may be able to lead all or
much of the entire service on their own, in addition
to having an aliya (and/or reading from the
Torah/haftara.)
BTW, being called for an aliya was the customary
expectation for a bar mitzva, not necessarily being
able to read from the Torah. Giving a Dvar Torah was,
as you can see in the text quoted above, considered
much more important. (Alas, the dvar torah degenerated
into the "Today I am a Fountain Pen" speeches of stale
Jewish jokes, losing all relationship to Torah.) If a
kid can do it, great, but being able to read form the
Torah is in no way a sine qua non of becoming bar
mitzva, with or without a rabbi.
I hope this helps. You may find some useful resources
on my web pages ("Jewish Personal Training" as well
as "Rhythms of Jewish Living," which I designed for
the Melton courses I teach on Jewish observance and
life cycle)--see urls below.
B'haverut,
Marsha B. Cohen
http://mcohen02.tripod.com/Jewish.html
http://mcohen02.tripod.com/rhythms.html
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End of MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
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