[yshavurah] Re: Fwd: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
- From: "Johanna" <rebiljoj@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 14:00:35 -0500
Cheryl,
thank you so much for sharing the information about the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
issue with us. It's good to know what other folks are doing.
I remember preparing for my own Bat Mitzvah and asking my father about his
and his father's. My father's was a big deal. The family was very
prominent in the Jewish community, real machers, and so he had a big thing.
But for my grandfather not a big thing at all.
Sometime around his 13th birthday, at a Shabbat morning service, he was
called up for an aliyah. That was it. No party, no big deal at all. His
mother probably wasn't even there. (ouch!) By saying the blessings for the
Torah reading, that meant that he was now considered an adult, in religious
eyes, and now had the obligations and privleges of an adult.
When Bill and I lived in Florida, the rabbi of our Conservative synagogue
went on sabbatical for a year in Israel. A knowledgeable man in the
congregation, but not a rabbi, performed all the life-cycle functions. The
only thing he couldn't do is convert people or perform a wedding, because he
would have had to comply with state regulations for a wedding. He did it
all.
At the Conservative IMUN (pararabbinic-style program), we were told that
this was perfectly acceptable. Rabbis, unlike, Catholic priests, for
instance, do not have "special powers." The term "rabbi" refers to a degree
of learning, not to any more of a relationship with G-d than any other Jew.
There are few things rabbis can do that layity can't accept, of course, for
making more rabbis! In Orthodox synagogues, for instance, you will seldom
see the rabbi leading services. In small shuls without a cantor, any man
who knows how can and will do it. This is also a growing practice in
Conservative and Reform congregations, not just in havurahs.
When I was teaching at the temple in Piqua, I prepared 2 girls for their Bat
Mitzvah. One scheduled the service for a time when the rabbinic student
that served the congregation could come so that she could lead the service.
The other asked me to officiate. We asked the rabbinic student and other
powers that be, and there was no reason for me not to do this. It was
pretty indimidating, in a way, but went off without a hitch, and it was a
lovely service.
Johanna
----- Original Message -----
From: <Clevineys@xxxxxxx>
To: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, December 09, 2002 12:53 PM
Subject: [yshavurah] Fwd: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
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>
> FYI: Here is the response about Bar/Bat Mizvahs in the National Havurah's
> listserv:
>
> In a message dated 12/9/2002 8:51:24 AM Pacific Standard Time,
> mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx writes:
>
>
> > No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
> > reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the
Midwest,
> > and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That
year
> > there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
> > Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
> > consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
> > The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
> >
> > Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who
drove
> > in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
> > tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
> > panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
> > for tablecloths.
> > My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
> > 10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
> > and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting
honeysuckle
> > and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated
parts
> > of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped
me
> > serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
> >
> > It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope
yours
> > turns out as well!
> >
>
>
> Cheryl B. Levine, Psy.D.
> Clinical and Consulting Psychologist
> Positive Perspectives, Inc.
> 680 E. Dayton Yellow Springs Road
> Fairborn, OH 45324
> (937) 390-3800
>
> Behavioral Science Coordinator
> "Mad River Family Practice:
> Ohio State University Rural Program"
> 4879 US Route 68 South
> West Liberty, OH 43311
> (937) 465-0080
>
> And the end of all our exploring
> Will be to arrive where we started
> And know the place for the first time.
> --T.S. Eliot
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
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> Subject: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
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> MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
>
> Topics covered in this issue include:
>
> 1) Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
> by Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> 2) Rabbis & life-cycle
> by Awaskow@xxxxxxx
> 3) Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
> by "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> From: Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4445] Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
> Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:50:28 EST
>
> No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
> reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the Midwest,
> and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That year
> there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
> Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
> consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
> The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
>
> Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who drove
> in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
> tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
> panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
> for tablecloths.
> My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
> 10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
> and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting honeysuckle
> and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated parts
> of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped me
> serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
>
> It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope yours
> turns out as well!
> *************************************************************************
> *************************************************************************
> Barbara Straus Reed, Ph.D. School of Communication, Information
> Associate Professor and Library Studies
> Department of Journalism Rutgers University
> and Media Studies 4 Huntington Street
> (O)- 732-932-8567 New Brunswick, NJ 08903
> (H)- 732-390-9124
> FAX- 732-932-1523 or
> 732-432-0081
> e-mail- reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> It is easier to be forgiven than to ask permission.
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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>
> ------------------------------
> From: Awaskow@xxxxxxx
> To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4446] Rabbis & life-cycle
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:53:57 EST
>
> Dear Steve, and chevra --
>
> None of the key Jewish life-cycle ceremonies except, of all things,
divorce
> and conversion, halachically requires the involvement of a rabbi, and the
> bar/bat mitzvah ceremony least of all.
>
> What the brit milah requires is a skilled mohel, what that, a wedding, a
> burial require is knowledgeable Jews (e.g., the chevra kaddisha that
> prepares a body for burial must be knowledgeable but not rabbis).
>
> As you guessed, a bar/ bat mitzvah ceremony is in simple theory just the
> recognition that at age 13 plus a day a boy and -- some would say at 12,
> some at 12 1/2, some at 13 -- a girl -- has become bound by the grown-up
> mitzvot, and can/should [but not "must"] therefore now represent the
> congregation in prayer & Torah study by leading part of the service,
reading
> Torah and haftarah, and giving a drusha, an interpretation of Torah (the
> "speech").
>
> There is an artistry to doing these ceremonies in a way that touches the
> mind, the heart, and the spirit that some rabbis, but surely not all, have
> been trained for, and that some non-rabbis have learned.
>
> I will be so bold as to suggest that the new book by Phyllis Berman &
> myself,
> A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN: THE JEWISH LIFE-SPIRAL AS A
SPIRITUAL
> PATH (Farrar Straus & Giroux) may be of great use to you and to others who
> are creating, experiencing, or visiting any of the Jewish life--cycle
> ceremonies. It tells the evolving history of these moments and rituals,
> provides a handbook for doing them, and integrates them into a
life-journey,
> not just a blip of a ceremony here, a ceremony there.
>
> It is available at Jewish bookstores and at Borders and Barnes & Noble, as
> well as on-line through the Shalom Center Website < www.shalomctr.org >
> under
> Books.
>
> According to halakha, a Jewish divorce and a conversion to Judaism are
> legally so complex and have such powerful legal consequences that for
these
> purposes a rabbi is necessary. For a gett [divorce], indeed, a specially
> skilled & knowledgeable rabbi.
>
> Shalom, Arthur
>
> Rabbi Arthur Waskow, Director
> The Shalom Center < www.shalomctr.org >
>
> To receive a weekly "thought-letter" on new Jewish approaches to
> progressive/
> renewal/ feminist approaches to prayer, celebration, Torah, & healing of
the
> world, Email: < ShalomCenterJ-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
>
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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>
> ------------------------------
> From: "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
> To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4447] Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
> Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:54:13 EST
>
> Steve Freides asked:
>
> > If one of the children in our recently-started
> > havura wants to have a
> > Bar or Bat Mitzvah, is that something we can
> > 'legally', Jewish or
> > otherwise, do? ... Is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah really
> > anything other than
> > an of-age person reading Torah for the first time
> > and, in that way,
> > different from, say, a wedding, which is a ceremony
> > with legal
> > implications, both Jewish and otherwise?
>
> Steve--
>
> The Hebrew term Bar Mitzvah is a term applied by the
> Talmud to every adult Jew in the sense of "man of
> duty." The Aramaic word bar, like the Hebrew word
> ben, denotes, age, membership in a class, or
> possession of some quality. (Therefore, the
> widespread literal translation Bar Mitzvah as "a son
> of the commandment" is misleading and inaccurate.) At
> the age of thirteen, a Jewish boy is considered to be
> personally responsible for the performance of his
> religious obligations, such as putting on tefillin and
> serving as part of a quorum of ten required for prayer
> (minyan). His becoming Bar Mitzvah, which he will
> remain for the rest of his life, is celebrated by his
> being called up to the Torah for an aliya or reading
> from the Torah and/or Prophets, which he is now
> required to obey. Many scholars believe that Bar
> Mitzvah celebrations data back six centuries, while
> others argue for an earlier date. The Bible says
> nothing about Bar Mitzvah, and while the Talmud gives
> 13 as an age when a boy must fulfill the commandments
> and when his vows become binding, no ritual for
> marking the event is prescribed, and mention of the
> father's recitation of a blessing on the occasion does
> not appear before the 16th century. After that, the
> making of a seudat mitzvah in conjunction with this is
> also found in many texts, both Ashkenazic and
> Sephardic:
>
> If you'd like some text as backup, here's something
> Rabbi Joseph Hayyim Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, Ben
> Ish Hai (Jerusalem, 1870, Parashat Reeh, p. 132:
>
> "The male becomes obligated to perform the
> commandments at the age of thirteen years and one day.
> Therefore on the first day of the fourteenth year his
> father takes him by the hand and says, "Blessed is he
> who has freed me from the punishment incurred by this
> one." . . . He makes a banquet for friends and
> relatives, invites to it sages, and increases the
> banquet and the joy as the hand of God has been
> generous to him. This banquet will provide great
> protection for the Jews when their defenders say
> before God, 'Master of the universe, see how happy
> your children are to enter the yoke of the
> commandments. This banquet is called a seudat
> mitzvah.. . . and those present will bless the son
> that he will merit Torah, fear of heaven, and
> fulfillment of the commandments. The great among the
> invited will place their hands on his head and bless
> him with the priestly blessing. If the son knows how
> to preach about the Torah he will give a proper word
> of Torah, if not the father will preach, and if not a
> sage among the guests will preach. . ."
>
> Notice, Steve--the first (and ideal) option is that
> the new Bar Mitzva should give the d'var torah, second
> choice the father, and only is the last option a
> rabbi! Of all the life-cycle rituals, the one for
> which there is the LEAST need for a rabbi is at a bar
> mitzvah!
>
> Traditionally girls did not have an immediate precept
> such as tefillin to perform when they reached puberty
> and became physically and religiously mature. But
> apparently there were celebrations to mark a girl's
> entry into maturity based on evidence in rabbinic
> responsa. Sephardim were apparently ahead of
> Ashkenazim in their adoption of Bat Mitzvah
> celebrations, which appear to have begun in Italy and
> the Balkans in the mid-1800's, and one was reportedly
> celebrated in Cairo in 1907. Rabbi Joseph Hayyim
> Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, who I was citing above,
> goes on to say:
>
> "And also the daughter on the day that she enters the
> obligation of the commandment, even though they don't
> make for her a seudah nevertheless that day will be
> one of happiness. She will wear new clothing and
> bless the sheheheyanu prayer and arrange for her entry
> to the yoke of the commandments. There are those who
> are accustomed to make her birthday every year into a
> holiday. It is a good sign and this we do in our
> house."
>
> Nevertheless, the Bat Mitzvah of Judith Kaplan in 1921
> is often cited as "the" first Bat Mitzvah. Anyway,
> you don't need a rabbi for a bat mitzva either.
>
> As for the kids in your havurah being young, you
> should view this a marvelous opportunity to provide
> them with education and incentive in their younger
> years, and making them part of the community, rather
> than just thinking in terms of bar/bat mitzva
> training. You might think about creating the
> equivalent of scouting "merit badges" for each of the
> major prayers at the service, for when one of the kids
> is able to lead the Shema and v'ahavta, Adon Olam,
> etc. This can begin well in advance of bar mitzva,
> and by bar mitzva, s/he may be able to lead all or
> much of the entire service on their own, in addition
> to having an aliya (and/or reading from the
> Torah/haftara.)
>
> BTW, being called for an aliya was the customary
> expectation for a bar mitzva, not necessarily being
> able to read from the Torah. Giving a Dvar Torah was,
> as you can see in the text quoted above, considered
> much more important. (Alas, the dvar torah degenerated
> into the "Today I am a Fountain Pen" speeches of stale
> Jewish jokes, losing all relationship to Torah.) If a
> kid can do it, great, but being able to read form the
> Torah is in no way a sine qua non of becoming bar
> mitzva, with or without a rabbi.
>
> I hope this helps. You may find some useful resources
> on my web pages ("Jewish Personal Training" as well
> as "Rhythms of Jewish Living," which I designed for
> the Melton courses I teach on Jewish observance and
> life cycle)--see urls below.
>
> B'haverut,
> Marsha B. Cohen
> http://mcohen02.tripod.com/Jewish.html
> http://mcohen02.tripod.com/rhythms.html
>
>
>
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> ------------------------------
>
> End of MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
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