[yshavurah] Re: Fwd: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
- From: David Seitz <david.seitz@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: rebiljoj@xxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 09:19:35 -0500
I echo Johanna's thanks to Cheryl for these messages. These
questions were interesting, making me wonder if the rituals
of bar/bat mitzvah, especially in America, initially grew
more out of a public display of status and wealth than
anything else.
David
Johanna wrote:
>
> Cheryl,
>
> thank you so much for sharing the information about the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
> issue with us. It's good to know what other folks are doing.
>
> I remember preparing for my own Bat Mitzvah and asking my father about his
> and his father's. My father's was a big deal. The family was very
> prominent in the Jewish community, real machers, and so he had a big thing.
> But for my grandfather not a big thing at all.
>
> Sometime around his 13th birthday, at a Shabbat morning service, he was
> called up for an aliyah. That was it. No party, no big deal at all. His
> mother probably wasn't even there. (ouch!) By saying the blessings for the
> Torah reading, that meant that he was now considered an adult, in religious
> eyes, and now had the obligations and privleges of an adult.
>
> When Bill and I lived in Florida, the rabbi of our Conservative synagogue
> went on sabbatical for a year in Israel. A knowledgeable man in the
> congregation, but not a rabbi, performed all the life-cycle functions. The
> only thing he couldn't do is convert people or perform a wedding, because he
> would have had to comply with state regulations for a wedding. He did it
> all.
>
> At the Conservative IMUN (pararabbinic-style program), we were told that
> this was perfectly acceptable. Rabbis, unlike, Catholic priests, for
> instance, do not have "special powers." The term "rabbi" refers to a degree
> of learning, not to any more of a relationship with G-d than any other Jew.
> There are few things rabbis can do that layity can't accept, of course, for
> making more rabbis! In Orthodox synagogues, for instance, you will seldom
> see the rabbi leading services. In small shuls without a cantor, any man
> who knows how can and will do it. This is also a growing practice in
> Conservative and Reform congregations, not just in havurahs.
>
> When I was teaching at the temple in Piqua, I prepared 2 girls for their Bat
> Mitzvah. One scheduled the service for a time when the rabbinic student
> that served the congregation could come so that she could lead the service.
> The other asked me to officiate. We asked the rabbinic student and other
> powers that be, and there was no reason for me not to do this. It was
> pretty indimidating, in a way, but went off without a hitch, and it was a
> lovely service.
>
> Johanna
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <Clevineys@xxxxxxx>
> To: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Sent: Monday, December 09, 2002 12:53 PM
> Subject: [yshavurah] Fwd: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
>
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
> > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> >
> > FYI: Here is the response about Bar/Bat Mizvahs in the National Havurah's
> > listserv:
> >
> > In a message dated 12/9/2002 8:51:24 AM Pacific Standard Time,
> > mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx writes:
> >
> >
> > > No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
> > > reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the
> Midwest,
> > > and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That
> year
> > > there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
> > > Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
> > > consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
> > > The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
> > >
> > > Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who
> drove
> > > in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
> > > tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
> > > panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
> > > for tablecloths.
> > > My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
> > > 10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
> > > and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting
> honeysuckle
> > > and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated
> parts
> > > of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped
> me
> > > serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
> > >
> > > It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope
> yours
> > > turns out as well!
> > >
> >
> >
> > Cheryl B. Levine, Psy.D.
> > Clinical and Consulting Psychologist
> > Positive Perspectives, Inc.
> > 680 E. Dayton Yellow Springs Road
> > Fairborn, OH 45324
> > (937) 390-3800
> >
> > Behavioral Science Coordinator
> > "Mad River Family Practice:
> > Ohio State University Rural Program"
> > 4879 US Route 68 South
> > West Liberty, OH 43311
> > (937) 465-0080
> >
> > And the end of all our exploring
> > Will be to arrive where we started
> > And know the place for the first time.
> > --T.S. Eliot
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
> >
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> > From: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > Subject: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 939
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> > MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
> >
> > Topics covered in this issue include:
> >
> > 1) Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
> > by Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > 2) Rabbis & life-cycle
> > by Awaskow@xxxxxxx
> > 3) Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
> > by "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > From: Barbara Reed <reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4445] Re: MAIL-HAVURAH digest 938
> > MIME-Version: 1.0
> > Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
> > Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:50:28 EST
> >
> > No, you do not need a rabbi. I was working on my Ph.D. when my son
> > reached Bar Mitzvah age. We lived in a small college town in the Midwest,
> > and the only Jewish institution within 68 miles was the Hillel. That year
> > there was no Hillel rabbi. As a result, two students, with very good
> > Jewish backgrounds, acted as rabbinical leaders for the Hillel and
> > consequently presided as my son's Bar Mitzvah.
> > The wife of one graduate student prepared him.
> >
> > Also, I catered a lunch for 100+ local folks and a few relatives who drove
> > in for the morning. Most present were not Jewish, in fact. I rented
> > tables and chairs from the university, bought light green lace curtain
> > panels, which went over white bedsheets, from the local discount store,
> > for tablecloths.
> > My 7-year-old daughter made centerpieces, folded colored paper with the
> > 10 comandments suggested, in Hebrew no less. I bought small bud vases
> > and the night before took a walk in the neighborhood, cutting honeysuckle
> > and roses for the vases. I had cooked a dairy meal and refrigerated parts
> > of it that required refrigeration. Four or five fellow students helped me
> > serve, clean up and take back the tables and folding chairs.
> >
> > It proved a memorable occasion, for my son and many others. I hope yours
> > turns out as well!
> > *************************************************************************
> > *************************************************************************
> > Barbara Straus Reed, Ph.D. School of Communication, Information
> > Associate Professor and Library Studies
> > Department of Journalism Rutgers University
> > and Media Studies 4 Huntington Street
> > (O)- 732-932-8567 New Brunswick, NJ 08903
> > (H)- 732-390-9124
> > FAX- 732-932-1523 or
> > 732-432-0081
> > e-mail- reed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> > It is easier to be forgiven than to ask permission.
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > The new MSN 8: smart spam protection and 2 months FREE*
> > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------
> > From: Awaskow@xxxxxxx
> > To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4446] Rabbis & life-cycle
> > MIME-Version: 1.0
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
> > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> > Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:53:57 EST
> >
> > Dear Steve, and chevra --
> >
> > None of the key Jewish life-cycle ceremonies except, of all things,
> divorce
> > and conversion, halachically requires the involvement of a rabbi, and the
> > bar/bat mitzvah ceremony least of all.
> >
> > What the brit milah requires is a skilled mohel, what that, a wedding, a
> > burial require is knowledgeable Jews (e.g., the chevra kaddisha that
> > prepares a body for burial must be knowledgeable but not rabbis).
> >
> > As you guessed, a bar/ bat mitzvah ceremony is in simple theory just the
> > recognition that at age 13 plus a day a boy and -- some would say at 12,
> > some at 12 1/2, some at 13 -- a girl -- has become bound by the grown-up
> > mitzvot, and can/should [but not "must"] therefore now represent the
> > congregation in prayer & Torah study by leading part of the service,
> reading
> > Torah and haftarah, and giving a drusha, an interpretation of Torah (the
> > "speech").
> >
> > There is an artistry to doing these ceremonies in a way that touches the
> > mind, the heart, and the spirit that some rabbis, but surely not all, have
>
> > been trained for, and that some non-rabbis have learned.
> >
> > I will be so bold as to suggest that the new book by Phyllis Berman &
> > myself,
> > A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN: THE JEWISH LIFE-SPIRAL AS A
> SPIRITUAL
> > PATH (Farrar Straus & Giroux) may be of great use to you and to others who
> > are creating, experiencing, or visiting any of the Jewish life--cycle
> > ceremonies. It tells the evolving history of these moments and rituals,
> > provides a handbook for doing them, and integrates them into a
> life-journey,
> > not just a blip of a ceremony here, a ceremony there.
> >
> > It is available at Jewish bookstores and at Borders and Barnes & Noble, as
> > well as on-line through the Shalom Center Website < www.shalomctr.org >
> > under
> > Books.
> >
> > According to halakha, a Jewish divorce and a conversion to Judaism are
> > legally so complex and have such powerful legal consequences that for
> these
> > purposes a rabbi is necessary. For a gett [divorce], indeed, a specially
> > skilled & knowledgeable rabbi.
> >
> > Shalom, Arthur
> >
> > Rabbi Arthur Waskow, Director
> > The Shalom Center < www.shalomctr.org >
> >
> > To receive a weekly "thought-letter" on new Jewish approaches to
> > progressive/
> > renewal/ feminist approaches to prayer, celebration, Torah, & healing of
> the
> > world, Email: < ShalomCenterJ-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
> >
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE*
> > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------
> > From: "Marsha B. Cohen" <marshaco@xxxxxxxxx>
> > To: National Havurah Committee Mailing List <mail-havurah@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > Subject: [MAIL-HAVURAH:4447] Re: Life Cycle Events Without Clergy?
> > MIME-Version: 1.0
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
> > Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 11:54:13 EST
> >
> > Steve Freides asked:
> >
> > > If one of the children in our recently-started
> > > havura wants to have a
> > > Bar or Bat Mitzvah, is that something we can
> > > 'legally', Jewish or
> > > otherwise, do? ... Is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah really
> > > anything other than
> > > an of-age person reading Torah for the first time
> > > and, in that way,
> > > different from, say, a wedding, which is a ceremony
> > > with legal
> > > implications, both Jewish and otherwise?
> >
> > Steve--
> >
> > The Hebrew term Bar Mitzvah is a term applied by the
> > Talmud to every adult Jew in the sense of "man of
> > duty." The Aramaic word bar, like the Hebrew word
> > ben, denotes, age, membership in a class, or
> > possession of some quality. (Therefore, the
> > widespread literal translation Bar Mitzvah as "a son
> > of the commandment" is misleading and inaccurate.) At
> > the age of thirteen, a Jewish boy is considered to be
> > personally responsible for the performance of his
> > religious obligations, such as putting on tefillin and
> > serving as part of a quorum of ten required for prayer
> > (minyan). His becoming Bar Mitzvah, which he will
> > remain for the rest of his life, is celebrated by his
> > being called up to the Torah for an aliya or reading
> > from the Torah and/or Prophets, which he is now
> > required to obey. Many scholars believe that Bar
> > Mitzvah celebrations data back six centuries, while
> > others argue for an earlier date. The Bible says
> > nothing about Bar Mitzvah, and while the Talmud gives
> > 13 as an age when a boy must fulfill the commandments
> > and when his vows become binding, no ritual for
> > marking the event is prescribed, and mention of the
> > father's recitation of a blessing on the occasion does
> > not appear before the 16th century. After that, the
> > making of a seudat mitzvah in conjunction with this is
> > also found in many texts, both Ashkenazic and
> > Sephardic:
> >
> > If you'd like some text as backup, here's something
> > Rabbi Joseph Hayyim Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, Ben
> > Ish Hai (Jerusalem, 1870, Parashat Reeh, p. 132:
> >
> > "The male becomes obligated to perform the
> > commandments at the age of thirteen years and one day.
> > Therefore on the first day of the fourteenth year his
> > father takes him by the hand and says, "Blessed is he
> > who has freed me from the punishment incurred by this
> > one." . . . He makes a banquet for friends and
> > relatives, invites to it sages, and increases the
> > banquet and the joy as the hand of God has been
> > generous to him. This banquet will provide great
> > protection for the Jews when their defenders say
> > before God, 'Master of the universe, see how happy
> > your children are to enter the yoke of the
> > commandments. This banquet is called a seudat
> > mitzvah.. . . and those present will bless the son
> > that he will merit Torah, fear of heaven, and
> > fulfillment of the commandments. The great among the
> > invited will place their hands on his head and bless
> > him with the priestly blessing. If the son knows how
> > to preach about the Torah he will give a proper word
> > of Torah, if not the father will preach, and if not a
> > sage among the guests will preach. . ."
> >
> > Notice, Steve--the first (and ideal) option is that
> > the new Bar Mitzva should give the d'var torah, second
> > choice the father, and only is the last option a
> > rabbi! Of all the life-cycle rituals, the one for
> > which there is the LEAST need for a rabbi is at a bar
> > mitzvah!
> >
> > Traditionally girls did not have an immediate precept
> > such as tefillin to perform when they reached puberty
> > and became physically and religiously mature. But
> > apparently there were celebrations to mark a girl's
> > entry into maturity based on evidence in rabbinic
> > responsa. Sephardim were apparently ahead of
> > Ashkenazim in their adoption of Bat Mitzvah
> > celebrations, which appear to have begun in Italy and
> > the Balkans in the mid-1800's, and one was reportedly
> > celebrated in Cairo in 1907. Rabbi Joseph Hayyim
> > Eliyahu ben Moshe of Baghdad, who I was citing above,
> > goes on to say:
> >
> > "And also the daughter on the day that she enters the
> > obligation of the commandment, even though they don't
> > make for her a seudah nevertheless that day will be
> > one of happiness. She will wear new clothing and
> > bless the sheheheyanu prayer and arrange for her entry
> > to the yoke of the commandments. There are those who
> > are accustomed to make her birthday every year into a
> > holiday. It is a good sign and this we do in our
> > house."
> >
> > Nevertheless, the Bat Mitzvah of Judith Kaplan in 1921
> > is often cited as "the" first Bat Mitzvah. Anyway,
> > you don't need a rabbi for a bat mitzva either.
> >
> > As for the kids in your havurah being young, you
> > should view this a marvelous opportunity to provide
> > them with education and incentive in their younger
> > years, and making them part of the community, rather
> > than just thinking in terms of bar/bat mitzva
> > training. You might think about creating the
> > equivalent of scouting "merit badges" for each of the
> > major prayers at the service, for when one of the kids
> > is able to lead the Shema and v'ahavta, Adon Olam,
> > etc. This can begin well in advance of bar mitzva,
> > and by bar mitzva, s/he may be able to lead all or
> > much of the entire service on their own, in addition
> > to having an aliya (and/or reading from the
> > Torah/haftara.)
> >
> > BTW, being called for an aliya was the customary
> > expectation for a bar mitzva, not necessarily being
> > able to read from the Torah. Giving a Dvar Torah was,
> > as you can see in the text quoted above, considered
> > much more important. (Alas, the dvar torah degenerated
> > into the "Today I am a Fountain Pen" speeches of stale
> > Jewish jokes, losing all relationship to Torah.) If a
> > kid can do it, great, but being able to read form the
> > Torah is in no way a sine qua non of becoming bar
> > mitzva, with or without a rabbi.
> >
> > I hope this helps. You may find some useful resources
> > on my web pages ("Jewish Personal Training" as well
> > as "Rhythms of Jewish Living," which I designed for
> > the Melton courses I teach on Jewish observance and
> > life cycle)--see urls below.
> >
> > B'haverut,
> > Marsha B. Cohen
> > http://mcohen02.tripod.com/Jewish.html
> > http://mcohen02.tripod.com/rhythms.html
> >
> >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
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> >
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> >
> > ------------------------------
> >
> > End of MAIL-HAVURAH Digest 939
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> >
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