[lit-ideas] Re: The Head Butter
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2006 18:08:42 -0700
On Jul 9, 2006, at 2:40 PM, Simon Ward wrote:
Overall, the consensus (in my house) was that France played better,
but that Italy deserved to win on moral grounds.
Linking "Italy" and "moral grounds"? My flabber is completely gasted.
Maybe the old Anglo-French antagonism is playing a role in this
judgment? In my household, following instruction given by British
tabloids to "grit your teeth and support the frogs" we were pro-France
from the outset. There was some good football, but I agree with the
French coach that the Italians decided some time in the second half
that their best bet would be penalties. When your goalie is nearly a
foot taller than the erratic Bartez, this makes soccer sense, but where
moral grounds come into it, I can't imagine. He who falls to the
ground and rolls around somehow achieves virtue from close contact with
grass? He who goads the striker into getting sent off is a shade less
culpable than the head-butter?
We're just back from Calgary. As is so often the case, Canada shows
its national roots when it comes to five star international toilet
competitions, blending the efficiency of French plumbing with the
inebriated British public's tendencies towards inaccuracy. Messes
result. But there is also a sense in Alberta that money and efficiency
ought to go hand in hand somehow and so you find, at the zoo for
example, teenagers wandering in with those claw-like things park
attendants use to pick paper towels off the floor...and then wandering
out again, leaving the room still awash.
In the zoo toilet I stood next to a father and his child.
Father, "I want you to pee right now."
Child, "I'm scared."
Me, (only in my head) "Too right, chum. Hold out for a cleaner urinal."
Father, "Either you're going to pee right now, or we're going to go."
Child, "I can't."
Father, "What are you scared of?"
Child, "Dragons."
I had misunderstood. The zoo has a "Dinosaur Park." You come upon
hidden monsters when you round bends or stumble across gaps in the
foliage. Somehow these had frightened the child into a state of
pee-less-ness.
The girls did well in the four days of dance competitions. Each picked
up a third place medal on the first day, third out of twenty five in
Julia's case, thirty five in Emily's case. Emily took one more medal
and--moment to remember--danced several times with Canada's champion to
one side and the World Champion (a Scot) on the other, looking if not
their equal, at least someone who deserved to be in the same bracket.
Canadian dancers are amazing. Their best train three hours a day six
or seven days a week, and it shows. Those who survive such a regimen
are very, very fit and can leap like Cossacks.
I enjoyed watching the World Cup with people who mostly knew what it
was they were watching. And the T.V. commentary was by people who
mostly said worthwhile things and sometimes shut up. 'strawdinry.
David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon
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