Hello Everyone and thank you Barbara for your post today..
I can really relate on a personal level to what you shared Barbara and the
challenge of how to be inclusive to all, and at the same time still keeping
and maintaining my values and integrity. I believe that to be the life journey
for us all. The longer I am on this planet the more I understand that I can
only see through “my coloured glasses” and that everyone else are wearing
different glasses.
My main lessons in life are about Being Ok with All... and as Hellinger says :
"Acknowledging WHAT IS"... I still often argue with “reality” and want it to
be different ...and that is when I suffer.
Being human is at times very challenging.
Thank you Vinay for opening this beautiful sharing …
Maria Dolenc
0425 277 279
mariadolenc@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.mariadolenc.com.au
On 29 Jan 2014, at 1:46 am, Barbara Morgan <theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Interesting topic you raise Steven and one I am consistently involved with
in my role as Editor of The Knowing Field.Building on my values for the
journal of a basically inclusive publication, I often find myself in the
position of wanting to include vigorously opposing points of view or sets
of values and that is a precarious and sometimes dangerous position to be
in. I experienced recently stepping into such a field and unconsciously
getting caught up in the field on more than one occasion during the editing
process. Fascinating.
Whatever the wider, more spiritual aspects of inclusion and exclusion I
think on a personal level, the issue runs very deep and I think different
cultures manage this in different ways. Here in the UK (and do I have the
right to include Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland - or even Southern
Ireland in my generalised viewpoint?), I think we are masters (and
mistresses) at excluding anyone or anything we feel uncomfortable about or
with. Cutting off from family members, work colleagues, friends, rather
than dealing with, or facing the hurt of, difficult and painful feelings is
more the norm than the exception I suspect. And of course, I am not
exception here. I do my best to include but there are times when I too
exclude for whatever reason and I feel and have felt the pain of exclusion
on more than one occasion.
My paternal grandfather was an excluded person. I never met him. None of
his five children had any contact with him for all of their adult lives.
The story, which I don't doubt was largely true, was that he was violent
and yet, through the constellation work, I have seen wider issues which may
have strongly impacted his way of being. Building on what Katja says, this
man died within six weeks of my grandmother whom he hadn't seen for over 50
years. The excluded cannot really ever be fully excluded I can't remember
who said it, maybe Bert, but I like the saying:
"Those whom we reject we imitate."
I look forward to ongoing discussion of this scintillating topic.
Warm wishes to all
Barbara
On 23 January 2014 07:01, Steve Vinay Gunther <spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I am writing about a topic that's a little difficult.
In the constellation ethos, exclusion is understood, generally, to be a
source of entanglements.
One of the things I have really valued about the constellation community
itself is the degree of inclusiveness that is widely exhibited. So many
different facilitators, with their different styles, yet there seems to be
a general ability to get along. This open, field-oriented inclusiveness is
something I find a bit special, and sets the constellation community apart
in my experience.
However, recently I was dismayed to find an unmistakable example of
exclusion on the peer level in one area of the constellation community.
This experience was rapidly and clearly confirmed, and the gate to dialogue
was shut down completely.
Now, in the realm of human experience, people engage in all sorts of
behaviours, for their own reasons, and obviously influenced by their own
field. But I thought to raise it, as perhaps its a difficult thing to
discuss exclusionary behaviour within our own community, by people who hold
certain positions, in roles of some power and influence.
I certainly felt impacted by it, and somewhat powerless in the face being
excluded without any possibility of discussion.
I am interested in other's reflections on this issue. I guess that given
the high valance given to the topic, somewhere it will form a disowned
shadow.
Vinay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rest in natural great peace
this exhausted mind
beaten helplessly by
karma and neurotic thought
like the relentless fury
of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean
of samsara.
rest in natural great peace.
- Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Workshops | Training | Gestalt Therapy
Career Coaching | Relationship Help
Steve Vinay Gunther | *Director*
USA +1 323 391 9810 | Australia +61(2) 8064 7431
w www.depth.net.au <http://depth.net.au> | e spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx
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--
I
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.cominghome.org.uk
www.theknowingfield.com
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