[audio-pals] Re: Facebook Trend

  • From: "Josh" <lawdog911@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: <audio-pals@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 17 Mar 2015 10:30:23 -0400

I agree with you and I do not think they have said anything to them at this 
point. I think my Mom has just herd us talk of the obstacles we have 
encountered and instead of stirring the pot she just tries to avoid it. So, I 
do not think the problem lies with Amanda’s family this time, but rather the 
perceived friction that may occur based on past situations. On a more positive 
note, I received my first indication of the upcoming graduation yesterday. I 
got my class ring that I ordered back a day before my birthday. My Dad and Mom 
paid a portion of it and counted that as a birthday/ graduation gift and I paid 
the rest. Amanda’s ring should arrive by at least the first of next month if 
not then the middle of next month.    


From: audio-pals-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:audio-pals-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] 
On Behalf Of Thomas McMahan
Sent: Tuesday, March 17, 2015 10:07 AM
To: audio-pals@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [audio-pals] Re: Facebook Trend


Well if his biologicals dropped the ball, which they did, that’s their problem. 
 What will thhey do when he’s in his 20s and still calls you all what he calls 
you?  There’s absolutely nothing they can do about it.  Better to try to 
rebuild bridges than continuing to tear them down, but if thats their choice 
that they make, they get to live with consequences.  


People aren’t property, that war has been fought in this Country already and 
decided.  He lives with you, you have legal custody, he can choose to call you 
what he wishes as long as it’s agreeable to you, there’s little they can do 
about it, it just shows the caliber of people they are I guess.  They actually 
should be proud of what he’s doing instead of sniping.  The time for that is 
long over, it’s not productive.  



On Mar 17, 2015, at 8:55 AM, Josh <lawdog911@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:


Well, as most of you all know my son is biologically my nephew on my wife’s 
side. Without going into a big long drawn out story his Mom cared more about 
herself than she did him or his sister. So, needless to say this lack of care 
lead to the state getting involved. My wife’s sister tried to keep us from 
getting him, but we kept fighting and going around her to get information best 
we could. Finally, the state quit looking at the worthless father and let us in 
on more of what was going on. One thing lead to another and we now have 
permanent custody of our son. Once we got pc the shift took place. He started 
calling us Dad and Mom which he could do even when we just had temporary 
custody, but we did not force him at anytime to call us Dad and Mom. When we 
had temporary custody he would sneak around and call us Dad and Mom to his 
friends and stuff, but it was not till we got permanent custody that he started 
calling us Dad and Mom to our faces. We have done our best to explain to him 
the differences between Mother and Mom and Father and Dad and that a Mother and 
Father can be a Mom and a Dad, but a Dad and Mom does not always have to be a 
Father and Mother. Well, anyways this is some background. We have faced some 
obstacles along the way mostly on Amanda’s side, but now there is one starting 
to form on my side with my parents.

    Our son calls my Dad and Mom Pops and Gram and they see him as their 
grandson. So, here is where the problem arises. Amanda posts things regarding 
his progress all the time. The most recent thing that she has posted is his 
progress report which shows him reading on an 8th grade level. He is in the 
third grade as some of you all may remember me mentioning in my introduction. 
My Mom was the first one to post and commented about that is our boy or 
something to that effect. However, I then seen where biological family members 
posted and my Mom’s comment has been removed. I know why my Mom removed it 
because she has mentioned in the past not wanting to cause waves, but I do not 
think this is right especially given all they do for him. She has asked me 
about pictures she has posted with them in the picture with Little Man. In my 
personal opinion if they have a problem then it is not with the fact that my 
parents are doing things with him, it is an internal problem that they need to 
work out with themselves. Ok, I am through getting this off my chest now. I do 
not know if I posted or not, but in January we closed our home for foster kids. 
Once we get a house that is bigger and they can have a different room than 
Little Man’s we will consider reopening. When we started the process to get 
Little Man we also went thorugh the process as one of the requirements to 
become foster parents. We had to take the training, but did not necessarily 
have to get the home study done, but we figured if we are going this far with 
it then we should go ahead and go the whole way in case we wanted to take in 
foster kids. We knew that in our current living situation taking in foster kids 
was not a possibility mainly because Little Man did not want to share his room 
and we were not going to make him.

   So, I have emailed Amanda and suggested that she talk to my Mom because this 
is not a situation that they should feel awkward in. If anything the one that 
created the shift is the one that should feel awkward for creating the 
situation that has caused the shift. Little Man calls me Dad and my parents are 
my parents so therefore that does make them a set of his grandparents. He calls 
them Pops and Gram and again if he sees them as his grandparent then that is 
all that matters and who cares what people think of it. Okay, well I have to go 
and ponder this a while and see if I can come up with some sort of solution. 
One of the grandmothers that posted a comment coddles the biological mother so 
this may be some of the problem.         


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