[audio-pals] Re: Facebook Trend

  • From: Thomas McMahan <shadowmonstrosity@xxxxxxx>
  • To: audio-pals@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 17 Mar 2015 09:06:59 -0500

Well if his biologicals dropped the ball, which they did, that’s their problem. 
 What will thhey do when he’s in his 20s and still calls you all what he calls 
you?  There’s absolutely nothing they can do about it.  Better to try to 
rebuild bridges than continuing to tear them down, but if thats their choice 
that they make, they get to live with consequences.  

People aren’t property, that war has been fought in this Country already and 
decided.  He lives with you, you have legal custody, he can choose to call you 
what he wishes as long as it’s agreeable to you, there’s little they can do 
about it, it just shows the caliber of people they are I guess.  They actually 
should be proud of what he’s doing instead of sniping.  The time for that is 
long over, it’s not productive.  

> On Mar 17, 2015, at 8:55 AM, Josh <lawdog911@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Well, as most of you all know my son is biologically my nephew on my wife’s 
> side. Without going into a big long drawn out story his Mom cared more about 
> herself than she did him or his sister. So, needless to say this lack of care 
> lead to the state getting involved. My wife’s sister tried to keep us from 
> getting him, but we kept fighting and going around her to get information 
> best we could. Finally, the state quit looking at the worthless father and 
> let us in on more of what was going on. One thing lead to another and we now 
> have permanent custody of our son. Once we got pc the shift took place. He 
> started calling us Dad and Mom which he could do even when we just had 
> temporary custody, but we did not force him at anytime to call us Dad and 
> Mom. When we had temporary custody he would sneak around and call us Dad and 
> Mom to his friends and stuff, but it was not till we got permanent custody 
> that he started calling us Dad and Mom to our faces. We have done our best to 
> explain to him the differences between Mother and Mom and Father and Dad and 
> that a Mother and Father can be a Mom and a Dad, but a Dad and Mom does not 
> always have to be a Father and Mother. Well, anyways this is some background. 
> We have faced some obstacles along the way mostly on Amanda’s side, but now 
> there is one starting to form on my side with my parents.
>     Our son calls my Dad and Mom Pops and Gram and they see him as their 
> grandson. So, here is where the problem arises. Amanda posts things regarding 
> his progress all the time. The most recent thing that she has posted is his 
> progress report which shows him reading on an 8th grade level. He is in the 
> third grade as some of you all may remember me mentioning in my introduction. 
> My Mom was the first one to post and commented about that is our boy or 
> something to that effect. However, I then seen where biological family 
> members posted and my Mom’s comment has been removed. I know why my Mom 
> removed it because she has mentioned in the past not wanting to cause waves, 
> but I do not think this is right especially given all they do for him. She 
> has asked me about pictures she has posted with them in the picture with 
> Little Man. In my personal opinion if they have a problem then it is not with 
> the fact that my parents are doing things with him, it is an internal problem 
> that they need to work out with themselves. Ok, I am through getting this off 
> my chest now. I do not know if I posted or not, but in January we closed our 
> home for foster kids. Once we get a house that is bigger and they can have a 
> different room than Little Man’s we will consider reopening. When we started 
> the process to get Little Man we also went thorugh the process as one of the 
> requirements to become foster parents. We had to take the training, but did 
> not necessarily have to get the home study done, but we figured if we are 
> going this far with it then we should go ahead and go the whole way in case 
> we wanted to take in foster kids. We knew that in our current living 
> situation taking in foster kids was not a possibility mainly because Little 
> Man did not want to share his room and we were not going to make him.
>    So, I have emailed Amanda and suggested that she talk to my Mom because 
> this is not a situation that they should feel awkward in. If anything the one 
> that created the shift is the one that should feel awkward for creating the 
> situation that has caused the shift. Little Man calls me Dad and my parents 
> are my parents so therefore that does make them a set of his grandparents. He 
> calls them Pops and Gram and again if he sees them as his grandparent then 
> that is all that matters and who cares what people think of it. Okay, well I 
> have to go and ponder this a while and see if I can come up with some sort of 
> solution. One of the grandmothers that posted a comment coddles the 
> biological mother so this may be some of the problem.         

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