Ask if they want you t speak to them slowly. Do it slowly. It stops them. Smile while you do it or they will theink you are being nasty (even if you are smile anyhow to confuse them! grin)
E. At 03:43 PM 12/6/2006, you wrote:
I hate when people yell, and I do like your solution to it. The other thing I hate is when people talk really slowly, like I'm stupid or something.ShannonAre you a fan of women's music? If so, and you're interested in hearing the latest edition of "The Eclectic Collection: A Celebration of Women In Music", feel free to send a message to:solsticesinger25@xxxxxxxxx ----- Original Message ----- From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx> To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 6:20 AM Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful PeopleOh, I do hate it when people yell at me as a way of "talking." When I worked at Qwest, I had a manager who used to talk very loudly to me, under the assumption that blind meant deaf as well. My solution: I talked very loudly back to her, and when she asked why, I told her that I thought she was deaf, since she spoke so loudly. That cured the problem, with only a few moments of awkwardness. What that flight attendant did manage to do, however, was teach your fellow passengers that such behavior is ridiculous and rude. They'll likely not make that mistake themselves. That's a plus. I've given this phenomenon some thought, though, and I think that sometimes people do this because they don't know how to get your attention. If they don't know your name, and they want to ask you something, they can't seem to figure out how best to approach you. With someone sighted, they'd attempt to make eye contact, and that would be enough. I may be wrong here, but I think that feels awkward for them, so they try to find another solution. An example from yesterday: A man was walking down the street toward me. I was waiting at the bus stop. There were two other people there. The man approaching began his dialogue with, "Young lady, I saw you this morning, and I saw you this evening, and you aren't wearing a jacket. Aren't you cold?" Now there were two other people there, and he might have been talking to any of us. I answered, because I wasn't wearing a jacket, and some people think this remarkable (I rarely get cold, though), but in other circumstances, it might have been difficult to know who he was addressing. People pick up on this, and just don't know what to do, I think. -----Original Message----- From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Dan Beaver Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 5:10 AM To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People Hmmm, maybe this one should go under this subject. Although, maybe it should be under people who do not think. Back in the 80s I went on a business trip. I took a flight to New York state. When I got to my seat I found that I had 2 other travelers sitting in the same row with me. That was fine since I enjoy talking with people and meeting new people. We hit it off pretty well too. After a very few questions about my Guide Dog and how we travel things moved to much more normal topics. After a while the flight attendants began the process of distributing drinks and nuts or something of that sort. Of course I could hear them slowly moving their way along the isle. I wasn't planning on partaking and was planning to politely let them know that when they asked. When the flight atendant got to our row she placed 1 hand on the back of my seat and 1 on the back of the seat in front of me. It didn't bother me but I had to wonder what that would be like for a sighted guy. She asked the 2 people between me and the window waht they would like. Once she had gotten their refreshments she stepped back. She leaned down very close to my face and literally yelled, "would you like anything to eat?". I just quietly said no thanks. After she moved on down the isle the 2 folks next to me expressed amazement and near anger that she would do such a thing. One of them started snickering and said, "you are just blind not deaf too right?". I have to admit at this point that I seriously considered screaming back, "no thanks.". But I didn't. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Lora" <loravara@xxxxxxxxxxx> To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 12:37 AM Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful PeopleWhat you say is true. Regrettably, we live in a dangerous world. If I'd been more uneasy, I might have shoved him away, which could be dangerous for him in the middle of an intersection. I also think you're right about more physical contact. A new acquaintance, when offering to guide me in a restaurant (a courtesy I will accept, because the restaurants I tend to go to seem to have lots of cramped spaces and such), slipped my hand in his to guide. I pulled my hand back and took his arm. I wouldn't have minded flirting with him, but he's married, and so even holding hands seems off limits to me. Maybe that's an entirely different subject, though. -----Original Message----- From: bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:bksvol-discuss-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Elizabeth and Burton Sent: Monday, December 04, 2006 10:23 PM To: bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: [bksvol-discuss] Re: OT: Overly Helpful People Reality is grabbing someone, particularly a woman without asking first is a stressful and possibly dangerous experience for the person being grabbed. I understand the need to help. I will stress in the book what we all know and have been trying to stress and will use humor to do it. The human being is equipped with a mouth and the ability to use it. Please let's learn the following phrases. Repeat after me children: "May I pet your dog." "Do you need help." alternatives to "Do you need help" include "Are you all right?" The implicit thing often thought is "I am worried about you. Do you need help?" (can I stop worrying) and the other question is "I have nobody to help and here is a person I can help." I do not like this attitude much since I dislike being an object attracting folks who feel so non-needed and attracting them for their needs not my help By the way, you can tell that kind. Those are the ones who keep insisting and hang on after you have said you do not need help. On a more ominous note, I think there are men who physically grab blind women for the same reason they would like to grab or touch a woman or any kind. You can tell this kind because he is the one who tries to cop a feel of my tit while I am hholding his arm to cross a street. Bottom line, I thin, is that anyone needs to be at least a bit concerned about somebody grabbing them particularly in situations where he might be trying to pick your pocket or such. The fact is many of that kind are put off some by dogs. I also think women who are blind get physically contacted more than do blind men. Somebody from AFB wrote a NY Times article about it a few years ago. I will do my best to get ahold of it. I want AFB in on the book project in some way, by the way. This thing really might take off. E. To unsubscribe from this list send a blank Email to bksvol-discuss-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx put the word 'unsubscribe' by itself in the subject line. To get a list of available commands, put the word 'help' by itself in the subject line. To unsubscribe from this list send a blank Email to bksvol-discuss-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx put the word 'unsubscribe' by itself in the subject line. To get a list of available commands, put the word 'help' by itself in the subjectline.-- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.430 / Virus Database: 268.15.6/567 - Release Date: 12/4/2006 7:18 AMTo unsubscribe from this list send a blank Email to bksvol-discuss-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx put the word 'unsubscribe' by itself in the subject line. 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