Lots of stories about blind piano tuners, but mine's about a deaf one. Unfortunately he starved to death. Mike Geary Memphis On Sun, Jul 3, 2011 at 1:51 PM, David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>wrote: > This week I talked with our piano tuner, as one does, about how to build a > trebuchet, and whether Chriscraft-restorers in Alaska might want to buy the > "Neverbudge." The subject of nightmares came up. I mentioned something I > saw in Mexico, a grand that was situated on a patio no more than two hundred > feet from the sea. This, in a part of the world that suffers hurricanes. It > was a Yamaha, but had a wild, honky tonk sound. > > Some music doesn't do well in honky tonk mode, but one evening there was a > Tex-Mex themed event. The pianist chose melancholy nineteenth century > waltzes. I applauded the matching of piano to music. No one else did. > > "The worst piano I ever tuned," said our guy, "was the first. It was in > Guam, in a room also very close and open to the sea, but in addition to the > humidity problem there was also a full, south facing wall of glass, so one > moment the wood was full of water, and the next, completely toasted." > > "Then there was a piano for the annual salmon bake outside of Juneau. The > event was always half way up a mountain. They built a roof structure to > protect the piano from rain, which is what the weather did ninety nine days > out of a hundred, but it was otherwise open to the elements. They had a > bunch of insulation draped for all the time when the piano wasn't being > used, but eventually I figured out that that was one you just had to give up > on." > > "I was more into boat building and repair in Alaska. And black powder. > And trebuchets. Did you see the Northern Exposure episode when they > launched a piano? That was a real piano, they used, you know." > > "With the black powder we'd go out into the desert--this would be after I > moved here--and people would shoot at stuff, but the grand finale was always > the guy who shot the piano with cans filled with concrete from a cannon he'd > made. Regular rounds didn't do much to a piano, but when he shot that > cannon, boy that did some real damage." > > "Oh, and then there was the piano that belonged to the local cops. It was > in a social club they had. Either the cops or a previous tuner couldn't > figure out how to get into the case, so someone took a hacksaw to the > mechanism. They broke into their own piano. What a nightmare." > > David Ritchie, > Portland, Oregon > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------ > To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, > digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html >