[lit-ideas] Sunday Story
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2011 13:47:10 -0700
The Golden Wienie is the burden of all who are elected president of the
Columbia History of Science Society. The Columbia History of Science Society
is a gathering of professional historians and grad students. It meets every
year at the University of Washington's Marine Science Labs on Friday Harbor in
the San Juan Islands. This site is near two forts that were built for the
prosecution of the Pig War, a dispute between the U.S. and Great Britain. In
that war the American Camp was commanded first by Roberts, who later wrote
Roberts' Rules of Order, and then by Pickett, who commanded the charge that is
sometimes called the "high water mark of the Confederacy." During the Pig War
the only casualty was one pig.
The Golden Wienie is an honor I hope to avoid. It commemorates Milo, the man
who catered the group's first meeting, twenty nine years ago. Milo imagined
that historians prefer their food to be old, so he served military surplus
wienies, peas from a similar source, sponge cake with canned strawberries. To
keep Milo's memory alive, the Columbia History of Science Group's founder rises
each year at the end of the "black tie optional banquet"--in twenty or more
years of going, I have seen but one black tie--to re-tell for the assembled
academics the tale of Milo's dinner. Each year the tale is the same and yet
different. Every year he manages to be funny. This is quite a feat.
Next, I stand up and read a poem or two. This is also a tradition. This
year's choices were McGonagall's, Tay Whale, and "Praises," by Alan Jackson.
The latter begins, "Let us praise the condition of the onion: the onion does
not drive the motor car/the onion does not go to the place of work/the onion
does not enter into union with unpredictable creatures". I wish I could find
it for you.
David Ritchie,
Portland, Oregon
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