[lit-ideas] Re: Stasi on our Minds
- From: "Paul Stone" <pastone@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 31 May 2007 15:19:30 -0400
On 5/31/07, Lawrence Helm <lawrencehelm@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Andreas: I took the test with the following result. By "high" did you
mean "well?"
Lawrence
"Your score is 30%
"You are not much of a terrorist. In fact, you really like the state. You
probably dislike personal responsibility and have a strong distrust of other
people to do the right thing. You think freedom should only be given by the
state to people who agree with the state."
I got the same response, but the fact that I'm Canadian and the US
Constitution doesn't enter my daily conversations (or thoughts) probably
made me a little lower than I would have been in a similar [silly] probing
Canadian terrorism survey.
Questions would be as follows (like golf, the lower the score, the further
from a terrorist and the closer to being "CANADIAN"):
1) do you like beer?
a) no - 5 points
b) no, because Allah doesn't... err I'm allergic -- 10 points
c) of course, who doesn't, only a terrorist -- 0 points
2) what do we call a winter hat?
a) toque - 0 points
b) fez - 5 points
c) kaffiya -- 5 points
d) winter? -- 10 points
3) If you are sick, do you:
a) call your GP for an appointment -- 10 points
b) go to ER for 12 hours -- 5 points
c) tough it out and risk death -- 0 points
4) Is Rick Mercer a Terrorist?
a) probably -- 10 points (too non-commital)
b) yes, I don't trust Newfies -- 5 points (unsporting)
c) only sometimes when "Talking to Americans" -- 0 points
5) Who are the McKenzie Brothers?
a) bob and doug -- 0 points
b) a pair of beer-swilling, 24 promotin' hoseheads, not real brothers,
played by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas. Originally conceived as a supplement
on SCTV for the Canadian Content rules who became a huge pop cultural icon
in Canada's history -- (you obviously looked it up or are a dweeb who gives
much too much information when queried) 5 points
c) who are dees Mickentsy Brozzers? -- 10 points
6) List the ingredients of "poutine"
a) cheese curds, french fries, gravy, (and sometimes cheese) and anything
else you find on the kitchen floor -- 0 points
b) codcakes and fish cheeks -- nice try hoser! -- 5 points
c) Poutine? Is that french for swimming pool? -- 10 points
7) Leafs or Habs?
a) Leafs -- 5 points
b) Habs -- 5 points
c) Leaves -- 10 points (even an American knows this reference)
d) this question hasn't been relevant since '93 -- 0 points
8) Do you like Toronto?
a) yes, I live there -- 5 points
b) no -- 0 points
c) never been -- 10 points
9) Is Gordon Lightfoot:
a) a popular folk singer -- 0 points
b) a character in a Robertson Davies novel -- 5 points [thought you'd try
and look smart eh?]
c) an infidel -- 10 points
10) Do you Hate Americans?
a) yes, they are loud, untrustworthy and fat -- 5 points (you're fat too)
b) yes, but I'm not sure why -- 0 points
c) yes, they are the enemy of ALLAH!!! -- 10 points
d) no, they are our allies -- 15 points (get out of here Mr. Prime Minister)
11) do you ever question authorty;
a) yes all the time -- 10 points
b) only when I truly believe in something -- 5 points
c) no -- 0 points
p
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