[lit-ideas] If you can't beat 'em ...

  • From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2006 13:56:35 -0400

Maybe the best response to bombers and Pope-mad plane hijackers is not to (a) intervene militarily or (b) isolate them until modernity catches up with them? Maybe the best response is a quid pro quo?

We should start training martyrs. Certainly we have enough heroin addicts to train as martyrs in exchange for a fix. If not we can use robots.

One suicide mission worth considering is piloting a 767 full of snowblowers and walruses directly into the Kaaba in Mecca during the Haj. Wait until it's really full, as the 9/11 guys did, and then bang! (The snowblowers and walruses would add exotic debris to the scene.)

Governors and local mayors should have the ability to enact their own fatwas against Muslim misbehavior. They should also be encouraged to seek out and use weapons of mass destruction. Get some priest to say it's okay, and you have all the religious justification you need.

And of course we have a lot of bombs over there. We should use these indiscriminately on the general populations. Just spin a wheel of chance and hit the winner. Televise it too.

This is exactly the kind of behavior that should please the "moral equivalence" crowd. In fact let's go out of our way to establish that point. Following every terrorist incident, we could air-drop leaflets proclaiming, "That's right. We're no better than you are, just better armed."

After a lot of jaw-dropping global disgust and horror, many would yearn for the gentle days of Bush-Cheney.

Well okay, maybe not ...

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