Dear colleagues, I felt my own body (mind and heart, too) hurted.
To me, it's a sad reminder of our own limitations and ego. And when I write
"sad" is a kind of judgement about what someone it's supossed to be/do as a
helper (therapist, consultant, etc,). And probably I'm loyal with the
teachers in my family when I do that.
So, I try to go beyond and look at me and identify what reflects to my own
inner experiences and voices, many times "forced" by myself, many times
"self-hitted", many times in my own inner victim/perpetrator dynamic,
trying to give a place to what hurts and create pain. And also what are the
systemic consequences of this reality in my role and Presence as a
Facilitator.
I see also the consequences and limitations of what "Orders of Love" means
for everyone, specially if we put a certain model in the first place, and
the person (the Client) in the last place.
At the end of this post, I reminde to myself what Roman philsopher
Terencium said "I am human, and I think that nothing of that which is
human is alien to me".
Hugs from Peru,
Julio
PS.- Thanks to Giselle for open up to this beautiful and supportive
Community this topic, and also I'm grateful for all what I learn from
different perspectives and experiences.
2017-04-19 16:10 GMT-05:00 Barbara Morgan theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>:
I want to endorse the first two lines of Chuck's email. I think a note of
caution is needed when we are watching a video or listening to someone
else's second or third hand reporting of a situation. If we are not
actually in the field ourselves, how can we pass fair judgement on what
happened? As Leslie points out, we are at risk of whipping ourselves up
into some kind of frenzy and becoming perpetrators ourselves in our
criticism of the perceived 'perpetrators' and what we imagine has happened.
It is very difficult to pass judgement when we are not fully in the field
ourselves. I learnt this lesson myself a long time ago. The reporting of
Bert hitting someone in the chest is particularly difficult to make a
judgement on. Some kinds of trauma therapy do include hitting people in the
chest. I have seen that in the past. It activates a kind of energetic flow
in a previously dissociated or constricted client.
Looking at this video I would tentatively suggest that maybe Sophie got
caught in the field and was trying to force an issue which would not be
forced. And I think we're all at risk of getting caught in the field if we
are to be anything other than ineffectual facilitators afraid to do
anything that might upset the client or the group. Noticing when it happens
is the key here. Not easy.
Trauma is such a hot issue and the range of approaches to it is vast. I
don't claim to have the answers as to the best approach. We each do what we
can at the time and take care to continue to do our own personal work and
inform ourselves of various ways of dealing with it as best we can. Looking
back on my own personal journey with trauma I can see that I repeatedly
unwittingly stepped into a re-traumatising field. I will never know if
those experiences were helpful or not, but for sure they were not
permanently damaging to me. What I can say is that I am strengthened by all
of my experiences of both therapy and constellation work and some of the
most difficult and painful have been the greatest learnings for me.
I personally have worked 4 times with Bert and each time I found the
experience profound and extremely helpful. I haven't worked personally with
Sophie so I can't comment fully on her approach.
Anngwyn's words about 'individual discernment' were very helpful but how
do I learn to discern? For me, it's by stepping into those difficult
places.
Good wishes to all
Barbara
On 19 April 2017 at 15:11, Chuck Cogliandro chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
To be fair, not being present in the room with the field, the issue and
the teaching, as well as not speaking either of the languages, does not
support me understanding what’s taking place in the video.
That being said, I’ve never worked with an energy of confrontation like
this, nor have I seen such an approach be effective in healing. I have
experienced re-wounding and an amplification of my defenses when such an
approach was taken with me in a healing environment. I’ve also never seen
my teachers work in this way, and they trained with Hellinger and his first
generation of trainers.
While there have been times I’ve felt guided to invite the client in
different ways to consider that their healing is on the other side of their
resistance, and sometimes suggest ways they might approach gaining a new
perspective, I always trust that their soul knows how much they are capable
to move at any time. In my experience, invitation to movement leads to
lasting change better than does coercion.
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
Decatur, GA U.S.
--
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.cominghome.org.uk
www.theknowingfield.com
