Thank you all for this conversation, and thanks to Giselle for starting it. I
did not want to reply until I had seen the video, and now I have read the rest
of the comments. (Special thanks to Christine for the translation. I do
understand German, but I missed a few words even so.) It's a very rich
discussion.
I appreciate the caution that Chuck, Leslie, Barbara and others urge about
over-interpreting events for which we were not present, but I think there are
things we can say about our own stances as facilitators which are useful. I was
taught and find it essential to pay close attention to body language of both
representatives and clients, because, among other things, it helps the
facilitator know how far a client can go with the work in the moment. I was
definitely disturbed in the video to see the girl's body language become more
emphatic and to have that met with insistence on Sophie's part that the girl
must obey.
I have also learned, from teachers and experience, that it is not up to me as
facilitator to decide on a necessary resolution to a constellation. My job is
to notice where love is not flowing in the system and to work with the client
to seek to open up that flow - a little or a lot, depending on what is possible
right now. I trust that love wants to flow in the system, that clients
themselves will notice comfort, energy, inner signs that something has shifted
for the good - even when the initial shift is as "small" as being able to
notice that they are reluctant to look in a particular direction.
Constellations continue for the subjects long after everyone has gone home from
the workshop. In fact, I was taught to leave things a little unfinished, a
little unpolished, at the end of a constellation, precisely to leave space for
further movement in the system.
Again, many thanks for this rich conversation. Special thanks to Heike for
pointing us to the work of the Nelles Institut. I did not know of them before,
and I'm finding much of value in the articles there.
Deborah Frangquist
San Francisco, CA
