I think there’s a balance - isn’t there always? - between being clear and
honest and open about such things (that is, not being complicit with silence
and secrets), and avoiding moving into self-righteousness or getting caught in
polarizing perpetrator energy. We’ve seen it in the response to Trump, and I
find it’s a regular challenge in my own life, from holding vendors accountable
to working out intimate relationships. And it get so hard when we are deep in
our own loyalty trances, and so much seems at stake (some of which is real, and
some of which is not).
There’s no doubt the international constellations community has really
struggled with this one. Ah, the fate of having a complex, very human, founder.
It seems to be more the rule than the exception. ;-)
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
Convivium Constellations - Founder, Practitioner & Trainer
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
www.conviviumconstellations.com
"Hasten to that which supports." - The I Ching
On Apr 20, 2017, at 7:57 AM, Harrison Snow teambuilder@xxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi Barbara,
Thank you for your comment about whipping ourselves into a frenzy
I also have seen how self-righteousness can be so destructive when a group goes
into
a feeding frenzy of blaming and shaming based on assumptions and projections.
Those who would protest or seek a dialogue are intimated into silence fearful
of being scapegoated too.
This phenomena might tell us something about the intersection of personal and
collective
pain in the field. When it gets unleashed in a mixed up way can the facilitator
hold a big enough space
so people can see a gap between the present moment and the past or between the
wounded/survival child and the adult self?
In that gap resides the ability to test reality and make choices.
And if we are to see that gap we have to remember to slow down,
step back from the immediacy of the issue, breathe and look for it.
Thanks again
Harrison Snow
Sent from Mail<https://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=550986> for Windows 10
From: Barbara Morgan theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, April 19, 2017 5:10 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Fwd: Orders of love and trauma
I want to endorse the first two lines of Chuck's email. I think a note of
caution is needed when we are watching a video or listening to someone else's
second or third hand reporting of a situation. If we are not actually in the
field ourselves, how can we pass fair judgement on what happened? As Leslie
points out, we are at risk of whipping ourselves up into some kind of frenzy
and becoming perpetrators ourselves in our criticism of the perceived
'perpetrators' and what we imagine has happened. It is very difficult to pass
judgement when we are not fully in the field ourselves. I learnt this lesson
myself a long time ago. The reporting of Bert hitting someone in the chest is
particularly difficult to make a judgement on. Some kinds of trauma therapy do
include hitting people in the chest. I have seen that in the past. It activates
a kind of energetic flow in a previously dissociated or constricted client.
Looking at this video I would tentatively suggest that maybe Sophie got caught
in the field and was trying to force an issue which would not be forced. And I
think we're all at risk of getting caught in the field if we are to be anything
other than ineffectual facilitators afraid to do anything that might upset the
client or the group. Noticing when it happens is the key here. Not easy.
Trauma is such a hot issue and the range of approaches to it is vast. I don't
claim to have the answers as to the best approach. We each do what we can at
the time and take care to continue to do our own personal work and inform
ourselves of various ways of dealing with it as best we can. Looking back on my
own personal journey with trauma I can see that I repeatedly unwittingly
stepped into a re-traumatising field. I will never know if those experiences
were helpful or not, but for sure they were not permanently damaging to me.
What I can say is that I am strengthened by all of my experiences of both
therapy and constellation work and some of the most difficult and painful have
been the greatest learnings for me.
I personally have worked 4 times with Bert and each time I found the experience
profound and extremely helpful. I haven't worked personally with Sophie so I
can't comment fully on her approach.
Anngwyn's words about 'individual discernment' were very helpful but how do I
learn to discern? For me, it's by stepping into those difficult places.
Good wishes to all
Barbara
On 19 April 2017 at 15:11, Chuck Cogliandro
chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:chuck@xxxxxxxxxxx> [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>>
wrote:
To be fair, not being present in the room with the field, the issue and the
teaching, as well as not speaking either of the languages, does not support me
understanding what’s taking place in the video.
That being said, I’ve never worked with an energy of confrontation like this,
nor have I seen such an approach be effective in healing. I have experienced
re-wounding and an amplification of my defenses when such an approach was taken
with me in a healing environment. I’ve also never seen my teachers work in
this way, and they trained with Hellinger and his first generation of trainers.
While there have been times I’ve felt guided to invite the client in different
ways to consider that their healing is on the other side of their resistance,
and sometimes suggest ways they might approach gaining a new perspective, I
always trust that their soul knows how much they are capable to move at any
time. In my experience, invitation to movement leads to lasting change better
than does coercion.
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
Decatur, GA U.S.
--
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.cominghome.org.uk<http://www.cominghome.org.uk>
www.theknowingfield.com<http://www.theknowingfield.com>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
Yahoo Groups Links
