re: [CollabLaw] Reaching Out to the Collective Wisdom of the Listserv
- From: Gary Direnfeld <gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:37:01 -0400
Please wait and reschedule, otherwise you undermine the utility of the
parenting expert.
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants and I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life. Courts
in Ontario, Canada, have deemed Gary an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access
recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique
on a Section 112 (social work) report.
Services include counselling, mediation, assessments, assessment critiques and
workshops. Go to his website to read his many articles and view clips of
television and radio appearances: www.yoursocialworker.com
As per usual, the only time I write I need something.. here's my
current dilemma which I would love to get some advice on.
In the midst of a Collab, which has been progressing quite well, but
which has now hit a somewhat significant bump.
Professional father - has worked significant hours and has significant
income.
Mother has been a part-time worker - three kids, all in school - not
considering increasing her employment income at this time.
The financial issues have moved relatively well, even though father is
somewhat agitated with the obligations that are going to arise from the
Divorce considering mother was involved in an extra-marital affair.
Parenting is the significant issue. Father would like a shared
parenting situation, Mother is very firmly entrenched in the "weekend
dad" vision of parenting, as she has, understandably, been more of a
stay-at-home parent than father.
We brought in a child-expert to assist - after meeting with the children
and talking to the parents, at the last meeting, she strongly suggested
a shared-parenting trial period to see how that went. Mother was very
resistant, and upset - but ultimately committed to try it, with
assistance of the counselor on a regular basis for ongoing input.
Three days after making the commitment, mother has changed her mind, and
wants to revisit this decision at another meeting. Father is,
understandably, upset and disillusioned. We arranged for another
meeting, however, the child expert is now unable to attend this
scheduled meeting - do we forge ahead without her? Do we reschedule
when she can be there?
Any suggestions as to how to now proceed, how to approach the difficulty
- how to assure continued commitment to collab and to the wisdom of the
process even when expectations from one meeting aren't met to one or
both parties?
Rob Harvie
Lethbridge, Alberta
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