Thanks Beth and everyone else giving me their thoughts.. my only concern
(and that of my client) that if the expert is unable to reschedule for a few
weeks, it's a few weeks with very modest time between my client and his
children.
If nothing else, my thought is perhaps it's worthwhile to spend some time
trying to obtain from the wife a better understanding of the reasons for her
fear and opposition to this change from the perspective of how she feels it
will be contrary to the children's needs.. when we were working on it last
time, there wasn't any clear indication in this regard, and seemed very
related to her own feelings, "This is very hard for me", "I don't know how
I'm going to deal with this", etc..
I also agree that I'm feeling slightly concerned that my fellow CL hasn't
perhaps pressed her client that reneging on a commitment in the process is
very damaging to the process - I have tried to encourage her as best I can
to do so, however, we play the hand we are dealt and rather than get into a
more aggressive mode, I think I've pressed that point as far as I feel
comfortable, and it's apparent we are where we are and will have to do our
best with that.
So - I appreciate all of your help.. but if we assume that we are going to
have the meeting, at least to help diffuse some tension before the expert
can get back on board, do you have any thoughts on how to approach the issue
within the meeting?
Thanks again, everyone.
Rob Harvie
Lethbridge, Alberta
-----Original Message-----
From: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf
Of Beth Karassik
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 1:04 PM
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [CollabLaw] Reaching Out to the Collective Wisdom of the
Listserv
Reschedule.
The mom, and/or both parents separately and/or together, may need more time
with the Child Specialist to discuss the recommendation. With and/or
without their Coaches present.
Beth M. Karassik, Ph.D.
Comprehensive Neuropsychological Services
1095 S. Main Street
Cheshire, CT 06410
203.271.3809
203.272.6968 FAX
www.clinicalneuropsych.com
drkarassik@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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----- Original Message ----
From: Robert Harvie <rgh@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 12:44:43 PM
Subject: [CollabLaw] Reaching Out to the Collective Wisdom of the Listserv
As per usual, the only time I write I need something.. here's my
current dilemma which I would love to get some advice on.
In the midst of a Collab, which has been progressing quite well, but
which has now hit a somewhat significant bump.
Professional father - has worked significant hours and has significant
income.
Mother has been a part-time worker - three kids, all in school - not
considering increasing her employment income at this time.
The financial issues have moved relatively well, even though father is
somewhat agitated with the obligations that are going to arise from the
Divorce considering mother was involved in an extra-marital affair.
Parenting is the significant issue. Father would like a shared
parenting situation, Mother is very firmly entrenched in the "weekend
dad" vision of parenting, as she has, understandably, been more of a
stay-at-home parent than father.
We brought in a child-expert to assist - after meeting with the children
and talking to the parents, at the last meeting, she strongly suggested
a shared-parenting trial period to see how that went. Mother was very
resistant, and upset - but ultimately committed to try it, with
assistance of the counselor on a regular basis for ongoing input.
Three days after making the commitment, mother has changed her mind, and
wants to revisit this decision at another meeting. Father is,
understandably, upset and disillusioned. We arranged for another
meeting, however, the child expert is now unable to attend this
scheduled meeting - do we forge ahead without her? Do we reschedule
when she can be there?
Any suggestions as to how to now proceed, how to approach the difficulty
- how to assure continued commitment to collab and to the wisdom of the
process even when expectations from one meeting aren't met to one or
both parties?
Rob Harvie
Lethbridge, Alberta
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