[projectaon] Re: California Countdown Comment Period
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 8 Oct 2015 12:41:45 +0100
On 05-Oct-15 7:46 PM, Jonathan Blake wrote:
I think we all know the drill at this point. :)
Let's start the comment period for California Countdown, ending Sunday,
October 11. Give it a look, and report back if you find any issues. If
all goes well, we'll plan to publish on October 12!
Phew! A few more than I'd expected, but pretty good for a 'last hurrah'
(before revising Books 19-22 for footnote removal, revamping the books'
design layout, working ont he PDFs, etc. ;-) ).
(ne) 109: bridge: -> bridge.
(ne) 149: westbound Lanes -> westbound lanes
(ne) 235: [so: Remove erroneous paragraph break before "What d'you
think?" as it is a continuation of Cal speaking.]
(ne) 295: [SO: Remove erroneous paragraph break after "interjects
Rickenbacker."]
(ne) 350: [SO: Reposition the small illustrations to "bracket" the
paragraph about Ed Hughes, since this is the only portion of the text
not written in second-person.]
^^^
All Fixed-in-xml.
======================
Not Fixed:
(ne) The Story So Far: [SO: Are we happy with the small illustration
placements here?]
(er) The Story So Far: your customized roadster and a gasolene tanker ->
your customized roadster, and a gasolene tanker [so: Serial comma]
(er) The Story So Far: [SO: Inconsistent quote mark usage: the
'Mavericks' vs. the Saints. In the printed book, there are no quote
marks around 'Mavericks', though they are used in Tssf for Books 2 and
3. We should standardise this. Suggest: the Saints -> the 'Saints'
(first use only) for consistency. Else, revise Books 1-3 to remove the
quotation marks around 'Mavericks', 'Lions', etc.]
(er) 29: the Tyler tow truck -> the Tylers' tow truck [SO: There are two
Tylers; cf. Section 48]
(er) 51: One Pistol [SO: Is the word "One" necessary? I don't recall
this in the earlier books]
(er) 56: You pull off the freeway and follow the service road towards a
diner, the largest building in the rest-stop complex, and park your
roadster [so: Suggest changing "freeway and follow" to "freeway, follow"]
(er) 109: [SO: Start a new paragraph when Cookie speaks after "bridge."]
(er) 129: most part of an hour [so: Is this idiom OK? Usually, I'd say
'the best part of an hour', not 'the most part of'.]
(er) 131: Quick Cal -> Quick, Cal
(ne) 131: him..., and -> him...and [SO: Unless this comma is desired
here, in which case record its addition on the Errata Page.]
(er) 155: into the truck -> into the trunk
(er) 160: wouldn't you Phoenix -> wouldn't you, Phoenix
(er) 192: C'mon Cal -> C'mon, Cal
(er) 231: the Tyler's tow truck -> the Tylers' tow truck [cf. Section
48; there are two Tylers.]
(er) 265: C'mon Cal -> C'mon, Cal
(er) 295: Murdered by the looks -> Murdered, by the looks
(er) 305: [SO: Paragraph break after "muses Rickenbacker."]
(er) 319: San Cristobal Bridge -> San Cristobal bridge [SO: Maybe? cf.
"Santa Rosa bridge" in Section 315]
(er) 339: Nevada desert -> Nevada Desert
(er) 342: [SO: Add paragraph break after "cuts you off."]
(er) 350: Your reputation is further glorified [SO: is "glorified"
appropriate? Would "enhanced" be more accurate?]
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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