[projectaon] Re: 26tfobm comment period has arrived!
- From: Chris Neilson <crusty.chris@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:38:39 +1300
On 22/02/13 10:21, Ingo Kloecker wrote:
On Thursday 21 February 2013, Simon Osborne wrote:
On 21/02/2013 17:38, Anders Österberg wrote:
29: You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in for,
despite your formidable fighting skills... -> You dare not wait
for the advancing horde to close in, for despite your formidable
fighting skills...
[FYI: This would be errata if changed. I'd agree that changing the
comma position improves this.]
<http://www.projectaon.org/test/en/xhtml-less-simple/lw/26tfobm/title
.htm#sect29>
The full sentence reads:
You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in for, despite your
formidable fighting skills, this enemy is heavily armed and you are
greatly outnumbered.
"despite your formidable fighting skills" could easily be left out, so,
grammatically speaking, the two commas seem to be placed correctly.
I agree.
OTOH, the placement of "despite your formidable fighting skills"
feels/sounds weird.
It doesnt sound weird to me as its a parenthetical element. Take, for
example, this sentence.
If you replaced the commas with parentheses would you still read the
sentence the same way?
I read the sentence like "[...], despite your
formidable fighting skills, this enemy is heavily armed [...]" which is
non-sensical because "your fighting skills" certainly are completely
unrelated to the enemy's amount of armour.
An enemy with more armour requires more fighting skills to defeat than
an unarmoured/lighter armoured one (eg its much harder to hit someone in
the throat to kill them if they are wearing a gorget).
Being outnumbered requires more fighting skills to defeat than fighting
one-on-one.
Being outnumbered by heavily armoured enemies requires yet more fighting
skills to defeat.
Im not sure why you think these two things are unrelated.
I would reorder the text as follows:
Despite your formidable fighting skills, you dare not wait for the
advancing horde to close in for this enemy is heavily armed and you are
greatly outnumbered.
I disagree (but then again the sentence makes sense to me). If anything
I would replace the commas with parentheses (but that then strengthens
the emphasis on the parenthetical element - and I dont think that is
needed).
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