[projectaon] Re: 26tfobm comment period has arrived!
- From: Ingo Kloecker <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:21:18 +0100
On Thursday 21 February 2013, Simon Osborne wrote:
> On 21/02/2013 17:38, Anders Österberg wrote:
> > 29: You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in for,
> > despite your formidable fighting skills... -> You dare not wait
> > for the advancing horde to close in, for despite your formidable
> > fighting skills...
>
> [FYI: This would be errata if changed. I'd agree that changing the
> comma position improves this.]
>
> <http://www.projectaon.org/test/en/xhtml-less-simple/lw/26tfobm/title
> .htm#sect29>
The full sentence reads:
You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in for, despite your
formidable fighting skills, this enemy is heavily armed and you are
greatly outnumbered.
"despite your formidable fighting skills" could easily be left out, so,
grammatically speaking, the two commas seem to be placed correctly.
OTOH, the placement of "despite your formidable fighting skills"
feels/sounds weird. I read the sentence like "[...], despite your
formidable fighting skills, this enemy is heavily armed [...]" which is
non-sensical because "your fighting skills" certainly are completely
unrelated to the enemy's amount of armour.
I would reorder the text as follows:
Despite your formidable fighting skills, you dare not wait for the
advancing horde to close in for this enemy is heavily armed and you are
greatly outnumbered.
Regards,
Ingo
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