[projectaon] Re: 26tfobm comment period has arrived!
- From: Jonathan Blake <jonathan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:38:20 -0800
On Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 9:38 AM, Anders Österberg
<Anders_Osterberg@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> It's been a few years since I last proof-read a Lone Wolf book. I only
> spotted three relatively minor errors. I can't say if it's because I only
> skimmed through the text due to the time constrain, or because there are no
> more errors. I hope it's the latter. :)
Thanks for checking.
> 29: You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in for, despite your
> formidable fighting skills... -> You dare not wait for the advancing horde
> to close in, for despite your formidable fighting skills...
Following the other comments about this, the original may be correct
(but maybe not), but the chosen order is misleading. Putting the
parenthetical after the word "for" seems to make it part of that
clause. Just switching those around make the meaning clearer.
You dare not wait for the advancing horde to close in despite your
formidable fighting skills, for this enemy is heavily armed and you are
greatly outnumbered.
I like your word order better, Ingo, but maybe this would be an OK
version that is closer to the original? I'd be fine with using your
version if this one is too awkward.
> Sections 54, 147, 193:
>
> These sentences are a bit unclear:
>
> "... Zaxx - an invisible, scentless, highly poisonous gas. It forms in
> pockets within the granite mountains of Bor and Boden, and for centuries it
> has been the bane of all Drodarin miners."
>
> The way this is phrased it could easily give the impression that Zaxx hunts
> down and exterminates Drodarin miners everywhere.
Chris, I agree with you here. Sometime after Old English, "bane" lost
its original meaning of slayer or murderer. The book should stay as it
is, but out of curiosity, is this sometimes confusing to speakers of
other Germanic languages because they have retained this meaning?
--
Jon
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