[lit-ideas] Re: Sunday Story
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2011 12:35:07 -0800
The twofer has been on vacation. This fact might account for what follows, or
possibly not:
The faculty meeting was coming to a close. One motion had passed; three had
been tabled, "due to time constraints." In full view of the senior member, one
young innocent raised her hand to ask "What exactly are our time constraints?"
The meeting chose to ignore her question and so sped towards its swift
conclusion, whereupon the senior member rose to place himself between the
innocent and the door. Without preamble, he asked, "I wonder if you have a
view on houndstooth check?"
"Excuse me?"
"The pattern? On suitcases? Only you put me in mind of the time that Young
Molesworth took his father to buy a new bag. Shall we sit?"
When the zebra feels the heat of lion's breath upon her neck, she surrenders to
fate. The innocent smiled, and sat. The senior member smiled, "Molesworth's
father had reached that ripe age which is about the same as a good club
player's weekend golf score. It is an age when two pairs of trousers and
several shirts seem sufficient for any kind of travel. A trip to Boulogne for
thirty six holes? Blue worsted and change of smalls. A week in Turkey,
playing three courses, grey flannel and a some well-made shirts. Molesworth
senior was an engineer by trade and a formal man by temperament. He no truck
with jeans or fashion. The job of clothing, as with all purchases, was to
endure. As for palette? Blue and beige and grey had stood the test of time.
There was but one exception to this general philosophy of the sound and the
subdued. His suitcase had been made after the war and so it was light in
construction. It was also, because it had been in the sale, of a houndstooth
check pattern."
The innocent fidgeted, consulted her watch, pretended to recall a pressing
engagement. The senior member gripped her forearm, "I shall not detain you a
moment beyond what may be necessary to tackle the important philosophical
question you posed about time constraints. To resume: When Molesworth's father
arrived here for his customary visit the pattern was always as follows: son
greets father, son accompanies father to baggage claim area, houndstooth bag
arrives in view. On the occasion I have in mind, however, though the first two
actions were completed according to custom and form, the bag did not emerge.
Father and son found themselves alone beside an empty carousel. They were
approached by an airline official, who coached them through procedures for
registering in the computer system this insufficiency of checked baggage."
The senior member paused to chuckle at his play on words. Seeing that his
audience did not share his amusement, he hurried on, "It was the official's
view that the bag would appear within twenty four hours. He was quite wrong;
the bag was lost. Father and son were instructed by telephone call to go in
search of replacement items and to bill the cost to the airline.
"I don't know if you've had occasion to buy things recently? In my experience
one thing available for purchase often appears to be very nearly a twin of the
next. In this instance, however, having established that houndstooth was not
an option, Molesworth senior set about examining bag amenities with the
thoroughness of an engineer, for such he had been in his working life: do the
zips work, the expansion pockets expand, the wheels spin? Does the rip stop
fabric seem sturdy? How well-designed is the carbon fiber frame. Eventually
the choice came down to a black bag with a five year warranty, a green bag with
a ten year warranty and a cadmium red bag with a 'lifetime limited warranty.'
"The questions eventually were reduced to two: which color would be most
appropriate to replace a houndstooth check and what kind of warranty would be
the best deal for a purchaser of advanced age? More specifically, was a
"lifetime warranty" likely to be an improvement on a five or ten year warranty?"
The innocent leaned forward, "Well?"
"Well what, my dear? Don't you have somewhere you need to be?"
"Which bag did they choose?"
"Surely you agree in principle that questions are far more important than
answers?"
"Up to a point..."
The senior member paused as long as he dared, "Having no time constraints at
all, he chose the bright red bag."
David Ritchie,
Portland,
Oregon------------------------------------------------------------------
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